Little Blue Bird
by Arendelle Thawed
Summary: The only thing Elsa had wanted to do was to take her son away from dark places, with even darker memories. She hadn't been looking for love. Not in a new neighborhood where she didn't know anyone, and definitely not at a place called Crocus Blvd. Elementary. [Modern AU]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Please be kind, this is just the first chapter.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 1: Where Did I Begin?<em>

* * *

><p>The box made a soft thud as it hit the table.<p>

Elsa huffed and smiled, raising a hand to wipe the sweat off her brow. She leaned back and glanced around the kitchen, taking mental notes as her eyes roamed the white walls.

"I think that's everything?" she said, tapping a delicate finger against her chin.

It had taken all morning, but the last of the boxes had finally been unloaded and moved into the house. She'd have to remember to thank the movers for helping her with the heavier ones. As of now, they were still in the midst of transporting the rest of the furniture.

Elsa turned back to the box and, feeling a fresh wave of nervousness wash over her, opened it. She had planned to unpack everything the next day, but now that the hustle and bustle of the morning was winding down, she needed to do something to keep herself occupied. Parting the flaps of the box open, she dug into its contents and began to set them onto the small round table—the only piece of furniture that resided in the kitchen.

Inside the small box was a scrap of trinkets and knick knacks, as well as a small set of clothes. Most of the boxes containing their more important possessions had been placed in the living room and bedrooms, but Elsa had carried this one in from the car herself.

She smiled as she nudged the set of clothes aside and grabbed two small glass jars—an empty pair of salt and pepper shakers. These she set onto the wooden table, right in the center. Burying her hands back into the box, she pushed aside some silver bracelets and a small plush toy. Her hands paused when she saw the stuffed animal and she frowned, fingers brushing its coarse faux fur. She plucked the brown toy from the box and set it on the table. Olaf would come crying for it later.

Back in the box, Elsa smiled when her hand finally graced the surface of what she was looking for. She pushed aside an article of clothing and lifted the figurine from its hiding spot, a ray of light casting a sheen upon it.

The small porcelain figure had a coat of paint that had once been a pretty shade of royal blue, though age had dulled its shine. Her thumb caressed the white diamond on its chest, tracing the edges of its shoulders down to the wings. She ran her fingertips down to the small feet tucked under its belly, staring at the tiny pair of black beady eyes that gazed up at her.

Elsa felt her lip tremble and blinked rapidly, shaking her head before she set the figurine by the box. She'd find a better place to put it away later.

Turning back to the rest of the contents inside, she was about to take out a stack of books when a loud crash sounded behind her.

Jumping, Elsa whirled around to look past the kitchen threshold and into the foyer.

A slim man was braced against the front door frame, giving her a sheepish grin as his arms tried to straighten the dresser he was bent over.

"Sorry ma'am, did that startle you?" he asked, shifting his weight to balance the dresser against his knees.

Elsa glanced down and winced when she saw his foot pressed under the wooden furniture. She looked at his face and gave a wobbly smile at the pained look in his eyes. "Do you need help?"

He grimaced and tried to move the dresser with a grunt, then leaned down and huffed. "Wouldn't want to bother you ma'am, but that'd be nice," he mumbled, brow creased.

Elsa walked toward him and grabbed the edge of the dresser, stifling a sympathetic noise when he groaned as it was lifted from his foot. Arms trembling, she helped him wedge it past the frame of the door, the both of them heaving with the effort. When they lugged it into the living room and set it down, he gave a relieved huff and stood up. Elsa watched him grab a rag from his backpocket and wipe his brow, face softening at the look of exhaustion that crossed his features.

"Thank you for helping me move everything," she said, gripping the dresser and dragging it farther into the corner so it wasn't in the way.

He blinked as he stuffed the rag back into his pocket, eyes wide. "No trouble at all ma'am, it's our job."

Elsa's smile wavered and she straightened, arms crossing around her midsection. The knots in her stomach had been wriggling all morning. She turned back to inspect the dresser in the hopes of making herself look busy.

Behind her, she heard the man straighten and pop his back with a groan. Elsa traced her hands along the dresser and slid one drawer open. It was empty, as all the furniture was. All the clothes were still in boxes. Her smile thinned as she tapped a hand on the wood.

She jumped when the man spoke again.

"Well, best help the guys with the rest. Thank you for the help Ms…?" he trailed off, looking at her.

Elsa straightened and walked toward him, extending her arm. "Elsa. Elsa Hendri—" she paused, breath catching.

The young man, who had raised his arm to meet hers, quirked an eyebrow, hand held out.

She stared down at it, then glanced at her own hand, at her ring finger.

Right.

She was no longer Elsa Hendriksen.

"Elsa Norberg," she corrected, taking his hand and giving it a single shake.

He smiled politely and seemed to think nothing of her hesitance, which Elsa was grateful for. He dropped her hand and she followed him out the door to where the rest of the movers were unloading the last of the furniture. The bigger things had already been moved inside, such as the beds, wardrobes, and the couch, so all that was left were the smaller pieces of furniture.

Elsa stood in the door frame, arms crossed over her midsection as she watched the men bring out two more dressers and a coffee table from the truck. She stepped back into the foyer and lingered on the wayside as the men brought in her coffee table. A few of them carried the dressers upstairs to the bedroom and she followed behind them, meandering about while they worked.

Once or twice she worked up the courage to ask them if they needed help, but they assured her they were fine. When all the furniture had been deposited inside the house, she followed them back outside, hanging by the front door as they prepped the moving truck.

"Thank you for all your help," she said, hands moving to grip her elbows.

One of the men turned to smile at her as his colleagues lifted the ram of the truck back in.

"It was no problem ma'am, it's our job," he said, tipping his hat to her. He turned back to his coworkers to call for a final check up of everything and she loosened her posture.

They finished readying the truck and Elsa suppressed a shiver of relief as they prepared to leave. She bade them a final goodbye and word of gratitude, then sighed as she watched the vehicle drive away. Leaning more heavily against the door frame, she rested her head against the wood and closed her eyes, at last letting the hecticness of the morning flow out of her.

After a minute or two of dozing, Elsa smiled thinly. "Well, that went well."

_As well as it could have gone._

All in all, she thought she'd held up her composure well enough. She pushed herself off the door frame and walked back inside, shutting the door with a soft click. She stood there just inside the foyer and glanced around at the bare walls of the house, chewing on her bottom lip. Now, all there was left to do was to settle into her new home.

"The first thing to do is unpack, I guess," she mumbled, stepping back into the living room.

She crossed her arms and roamed her gaze over the living room, moving her eyes over the coffee table sitting skewed in the center. Then, she glanced to the fireplace that sat on the farthest wall. It wasn't a large house by any means—an unassuming little abode in the middle of the block. It was smaller than her previous home had been at only two stories tall and approximately 1400 square feet. But it was comfortable and quiet. And safe.

That was the most important part.

Sighing, Elsa dropped her arms and walked to the kitchen, back to the little round table. Moving had taken all morning and even though it was just past afternoon, she would wait until tomorrow to unpack everything else. _Except this, _she thought with a waning smile as she stood by the table and flipped open the box set atop it again.

She stared down at the contents still left in the box, hands resting on the flaps. Elsa lifted the small stack of clothes and set them aside on the table, then paused when she saw the thin, velvet case inside. Feeling her throat tighten, she reached down and traced her hand along its edges. With a shuddering breath, she picked up the case and opened it. Elsa blinked at the sudden itching behind her eyes as stared at its contents.

Inside lay two rings.

Her throat bobbed up and down and, unconsciously, her right hand moved to stroke the ring finger of her left hand. Elsa froze and looked down at her finger.

It was bare.

Sucking in a breath, she shut the velvet box and placed it on the table. Gently.

"No more dawdling on past things Elsa," she said to herself as she unpacked the rest of the box's contents. "That was then, this is—"

She looked up, then around the house.

Her house.

She swallowed.

"Now."

Elsa strode into the foyer and looked down the small hallway that led to the backyard. She stared at the empty walls, the paint a stark white that only emphasized their nakedness. Her eyes flicked to the staircase that led up to two bedrooms and not much more. She walked up the steps, hand drifting along the banister as the sound of her footsteps echoed throughout the household.

On the second floor she strode to the bedroom on the left and poked her head inside it.

She'd seen the rooms beforehand when she'd been conversing with a real estate agent about buying the house. Elsa knew this room was the smaller of the two, and painted a pale sky blue color. She glanced over at the empty bed, followed it down to the toy chest at the foot of it, then looked to the window on the far right wall.

The curtains were drawn and she stared at them as a draft came in, hypnotized as they fluttered like wings in the air. Elsa padded over to the window and moved to close it, thinking about how the room would be cold by nightfall if she left it open. When she moved to shut it though, a sight beyond the window gave her pause.

Elsa blinked as she stared out into the backyard.

"Olaf?" she called out, leaning over the windowsill.

Her son was in the backyard.

Elsa caught the sight his dark hair just as he moved out of her sight.

With a familiar wave of nervousness washing over her, Elsa rushed out of the bedroom and down the stairs, briskly striding down the short hallway to the back door of the house. She'd left it open when she had first gotten there because Olaf had wanted to see their new backyard. She'd been hesitant at first. But it had taken one look at his large, doe eyes before she relented. She had told her son to stay out of the way while the adults had been moving everything into their new home, for fear that her son would get hurt.

He had a habit of sneaking away from her careful watch.

Elsa frowned at the thought and quickened her pace. She pushed the half-open screen door aside and walked outside into the small grassy area. The backyard here wasn't as spacious as the one they'd had back home, but it was still a nice sizable area for a child to run around and play.

Olaf was doing neither of those things.

Her son stood at the edge of the backyard inspecting the open space by the house, head tilted and brow furrowed. When Elsa walked along the path to him, he looked up, noticing her at last. She smiled at the contemplative look in his dark brown eyes.

"Something wrong sweetie?" she asked as she neared him.

Olaf didn't respond, only lifted his arms obediently when she bent down and she sighed as she scooped him up into her arms. The nervousness running over her skin abated. Somewhat. She nestled him over her chest and wrapped an arm across his back, rubbing his spine in circles. He squirmed in her embrace for a moment and then looked back at the solitary dirt row along the side of the house.

"It's empty," he mumbled.

Elsa blinked and shifted her son in her arms as she peered at the blank slate of earth. "What is? This spot? Yes it is empty, but we can put something there." She tapped her son's nose and smiled. He made a face and her smile grew slightly. "Would you like that? Perhaps a little garden here? We could plant daisies and sunflowers. You like those, right?"

Olaf mumbled something she couldn't hear and placed his head on her shoulder, arms looping around her neck.

"What sweetheart?" Elsa tilted her head at him, expression softening. "I didn't hear you."

Olaf was silent for another moment. Then, "'S not just empty here Mommy. It's empty everywhere. The whole house is."

Elsa's smile wavered and fell. She rubbed her son's back and walked down the short brick path to the back door.

"Well, it won't be for long dear. We'll fill it up," she murmured. She heard birds chirp nearby. Her skin prickled. "C'mon sweetie, let's go back inside."

Olaf didn't choose to answer, distracted from the conversation as he fiddled with the end of her braid. That was fine with her. Olaf would talk when he wanted to. Elsa smiled as she felt the light tug of his hands on her hair as she strode back into the house, closing the back door with a gentle click.

They had time now.

* * *

><p>"Mommy?"<p>

Elsa looked away from the bright monitor screen of her laptop, blinking at the sight of her son pushing the door ajar.

She straightened in her chair and frowned when she saw the sullen expression on his face. "Something wrong sweetie? I thought you were asleep?"

She had put Olaf to bed an hour ago in the hopes that he had been exhausted by the day's business and so would have been able to sleep.

By the look of his knitted brow and pouty mouth, she'd been wrong.

Olaf looked out into the hallway and then back of her, lower lip curving farther downward. He played with the fuzzy reindeer plush he held to his chest—the one Elsa had left on the kitchen table—and then rushed over to her.

"Can I stay in here with you Mommy?" he asked. Despite his question, he was already climbing into her lap.

She didn't mind.

Elsa cooed and settled Olaf onto her lap, wrapping her arms around him and tucking his head under her chin. She rocked him back and forth as he played with his toy, rubbing his cheek against the skin of her collarbone. She kissed the top of his head and ran her hand through the soft tresses of his hair, combing out loose knots and tangles.

"What's wrong? Are you not sleepy? Aren't you tired from all the hustle and bustle of today?" she whispered into his hair, rocking him slightly from side to side when he began to fidget.

Olaf shook his head and tugged on the antlers of his plush toy, pressing it against his mouth so when he spoke, his words were muffled. "No. I'm not sleepy. I don't want to sleep. I'm wide awake. Can we play Mommy?"

Elsa sighed and rubbed his back, looking back at the LCD screen that cast a harsh glow into the otherwise dark room. She stared at the rows and columns of numbers and figures laid out on the spreadsheet, then said, "I can't dear. Mommy has to finish her work."

"But," Olaf said, whipping away from her embrace to stare at her wide-eyed, "I don't want to go back to my room."

Elsa nibbled her lip at his pouting, then glanced to the digital alarm clock by her laptop.

_9:15._

"Well," she started slowly, "I suppose I could... Did you want me to read you a bedtime story?"

Olaf shook his head and nuzzled back under her chin, burying his face into the fabric of her shirt. "No. Can you sing to me instead?"

Realizing she wasn't going to get anymore work done until he fell asleep, Elsa reached over and closed the laptop. Olaf sniffed and held onto her as she stood up and carried him to the bed. Due to the day's chaos, she had forgone unpacking the bed sheets and pillowcases, so the mattress was bare when she laid Olaf atop it. He crawled to the headboard and dived under the comforter she'd tossed on it, then wriggled back up to rest himself on the pillows.

She pulled back the comforter and slid in beside him, tucking him against her chest when he reached out to her. Rubbing his back in slow circles, she lowered her cheek onto the top of his head and breathed in the scent of his shampoo.

"What song do you want me to sing sweetie?" she cooed.

Olaf brought his toy and squeezed the reindeer plush between them, stuffing his nose into the aged toy. "I don't want a song anymore. Can you just sleep here with me?"

Elsa stared at the white wall of the bedroom. Her bedroom. She thought about how maybe she wanted to paint her bedroom the same shade of sky blue as her son's, or maybe a shade of lavender. She thought about how she still had to finish the spreadsheet documents on her laptop. She thought about all the unpacking she had to do in the morning and how she'd have less time to do that if she had work to catch up on. She thought about how her commute to the office was longer now that they lived on the other side of town. She thought about how her son's first day at his new school was in just a few days. She thought about how she was a single mother in a new neighborhood. She was alone in this new and strange place.

They both were.

"Alright Olaf. I'll stay. It's okay. Mommy will be right here. You're not alone, my love. I'm here."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** The second chapter. Thank you for your patience and for following, favoriting, and reviewing. For this one, you only need to squint a bit to something in particular that might interest you all.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 2: If You'll Be Star, I'll Be Your Sky<em>

* * *

><p>"I could have sworn we didn't have so many things," she grumbled as she hefted another box onto the table.<p>

The morning had found Elsa with more work than she thought she'd had to do and less time to do said work. Olaf had woken up crying in the early hours of the day and Elsa had not been able to calm him down for several hours. By the time he'd dozed off again, the clock had read _6:35_. She had wanted to get up an hour earlier to finish looking over the spreadsheets she'd been pouring over last night so that she could still have had plenty of time to unpack.

It was almost ten o'clock now though and she was nowhere near finished unpacking everything.

With a sigh, Elsa rested her hands on the box and looked around the kitchen. She made a mental note of what still needed to be done as she stared at the barren white walls. She'd moved all the living room furniture into a position familiar of her old home and had set up the TV for Olaf to watch his favorite cartoons if he wanted to. She'd finished unpacking all of Olaf's toys and had placed them into the chest at the foot of his bed. Then she'd unpacked all of Olaf's clothing and her own, and though she had made sure to fix up the bed sheets and pillowcases on Olaf's bed, she hadn't done the same for her own yet.

Elsa pulled out a chair and seated herself at the kitchen table, placing her head in her hands. A long, deep sigh spilled out of her.

_Am I doing the right thing?_

All at once, the multitude of doubts imploded in her head.

Elsa groaned and laid her head on her arms, blocking out the little voice whispering in her ear that she was making a mistake. Instead, she focused on the sounds within the house.

In the living room, she heard Olaf's inconsistent noises of play and from the lack of television voices accompanying him, Elsa figured he hadn't turned on the TV after all. Feeling the old nervous wave again, she rose from her chair and padded out of the kitchen.

Olaf was playing with his reindeer toy again, as was usual.

Elsa leaned against the threshold of the foyer and watched her son play for a bit.

Olaf sat in the middle of the living room in front of the TV, mumbling to himself as he dragged his toy across the rug. Now and then he'd raise his toy high in the air as if it were flying, then crush it to his chest. Elsa felt her stomach tighten after a few minutes, frowning when Olaf brought the stuffed animal up and buried his face into it.

_You don't talk much anymore, do you?_

Her heart sank.

_And whose fault is that?_

Sucking in a breath, Elsa pushed away from the wall and said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Want to go get ice cream?"

Olaf's head shot up and Elsa grinned when his eyes lit up. He bounced up from the floor and bounded over to her with a squeak, still holding his toy to his chest, "Really? Can we Mommy?"

"Of course," she said, throat tight.

Elsa ruffled his hair and smiled as she went to the coat rack to grab Olaf's hoodie and her coat. She tugged the light blue garment onto her son and slipped on her black coat, opening the door to let Olaf rush out onto the porch. She followed Olaf down the short path to the driveway, smiling at the bounce in his step. Elsa felt her stomach clench again as she watched her son skip to the black minivan.

It'd been a long time since she'd seen him this happy.

Swallowing past the sudden lump in her throat, she spoke as she opened the back seat door to let Olaf crawl in. "My coworker told me there's a nice ice cream shop not too far from here."

Olaf wiggled in his booster seat as Elsa buckled him in, so much so that Elsa tickled him behind the ears when he wouldn't keep still. He squealed as she giggled, "Easy there, settle down. We'll never get to go if you don't let me put your seatbelt on right!"

When her son was nice and secure, Elsa ducked into the driver's seat and revved up the engine, smiling to herself when she heard Olaf begin to hum as she pulled out of the driveway.

_I'm making the right choice._

* * *

><p>The ice cream shop was on a little corner between W 12th Street and Royal Ave.<p>

Her coworker had told her about the small shop at lunch the other day, mentioning to Elsa offhand that it was a nice little place near her and Olaf's new neighborhood and didn't her son love ice cream? Elsa knew that her colleagues were trying to help her out, subtle as their attempts were.

Parking her car near the corner of the street, she walked down the sidewalk hand in hand with her son to the little shop that read _Sweet Cream Castle_.

Elsa pushed open the door, startling a bit when the jingle of a silver bell announced their entrance. When she stepped inside though, she froze.

The ice cream parlor was bustling with activity. It was a small shop, with its west and south walls made of glass and the east wall a mint green. The north wall behind the counter, she noted, was white and sported a large floral pattern that streaked across it, the same shade of green as the adjacent wall. The parlor was small, but managed to house four tables seating four people and four tables seating two. Outside, she had seen four more tables that could seat another four.

It was also packed.

Though some people were seated, Elsa noted that most of the customers were milling about, a few feet away from the counter to peer at the selection of ice cream, with the rest forming a straggly line along the counter to make their orders.

"Morning hour rush?" Elsa mumbled, face draining of color. Behind her, she felt Olaf cling closer to her leg, his free hand gripping onto the fabric of her pants. She glanced down at him and smiled when he pouted at her, brushing his bangs back.

"It's okay, just stick close," she said.

Elsa ruffled his hair and moved to squeeze through the crowd of customers, but gasped when she felt someone suddenly bump against her side.

"Oh! Sorry," she said, sidestepping away from the person. A blush colored her cheeks when a woman with bright red hair aimed a glance at her.

"It's alright, that was my bad!" the woman said, a cheery smile stretching across her cheeks.

Elsa ducked her head away from the woman's sunny face, feeling the red on her cheeks deepen at the shine of her green eyes. Or were they blue?

She frowned and turned her head to mumble another apology to the woman, but blinked when she noticed the redhead was already gliding out the door, the swish of her pale yellow dress her last trace.

"Oh." As she stared at the closed door, a sense of detachment washed over her. Turning her head to look back around the shop, the hollow feeling in her stomach only grew.

_I don't know anyone here._

She gulped, shoulders rising to her ears. The shop felt stuffy and far too small now, so she wrapped an arm around Olaf's shoulders and brought him closer to her, nudging him to stand in front of her rather than behind her. It was easier to keep an eye on him that way. She nudged him forward and they walked together slowly, squeezing between the wall and the rest of the customers to the counter.

Elsa stared at the pattern of flowers that streaked across the two walls as they inched to the beginning of the line. Her eyes followed the streaking of white petals that sprayed across the mint green wall and then to the white wall behind the counter, where the pattern flipped its color. _I still need to paint the bedroom, I suppose. _She blinked at the stray thought, then was broken from her daze when Olaf edged closer to the counter, peeking through the glass at the different flavors of ice cream.

She bent down and stroked his head, soothed by the softness of his hair beneath her palm. "Well, what would you like?"

Olaf's eyes swept across the compartments of ice cream, pressing closer against the glass. Elsa gave a nervous smile at the clerk, but relaxed when he grinned in response.

"Take your time, there's no rush," he said, though Elsa saw his eyes stray to the line behind her. Her smile wavered and she rested her hand on Olaf's shoulder.

"Can I get chocolate?" he finally asked, looking up at her with wide eyes.

She relaxed and laid her other hand on his opposite shoulder, cooing, "With sprinkles and nuts and caramel syrup? Your favorite right?"

Olaf's eyes brightened and Elsa's heart fluttered with pride.

_I remembered!_

"And M&M's!" Olaf clarified and Elsa giggled at his resolute expression.

"And M&Ms please, with a cone," she told the clerk as he slid open the glass counter. She quirked an eyebrow at Olaf and said, "With double scoops I bet?"

Olaf bounced, hands balling up with excitement. "Triple scoops please Mommy!"

She laughed. "Alright, two triple scoops please?" she relayed to the clerk.

The young man smiled and Elsa found it easier to return it with a grin. Her hands squeezed Olaf's shoulders as he rocked from side to side, failing to keep still as the clerk prepped their servings.

When they walked out of the ice cream shop, Elsa fought back her giggles as her son smushed his face into his cone. Olaf mouthed at the chocolaty goodness, dark eyes bright as he held the cone in one hand and Elsa's hand in the other. Elsa ruffled his hair, warmth bubbling in her chest. As they headed back to the car, she smiled and squeezed her son's hand, the urge to never let him go almost overcoming.

It really had been so long since she'd seen him smile so much.

* * *

><p>As she drove through the still unfamiliar streets of their new neighborhood, a thought occurred to her.<p>

Crocus Blvd. Elementary School wasn't far from their new home, only a few blocks away.

Olaf wouldn't need to take the bus unless Elsa had to work early in the mornings. The thought that she would be the one taking her son to school every day now was a comfort. There would be no more days where she would worry about Olaf incessantly. No more worrying that her son always took a bus to school and Elsa never saw him off, or picked him up when the day was done. Now that her schedule was different, she could do more than rise an hour early every day to pack him a lunch and leave it on the kitchen table, always out the door before he even woke up. Elsa's hands tightened on the wheel and she turned a corner instead of heading down the street toward home, a surge of confidence bursting in her.

Olaf noticed the change in direction.

He wiggled in his seat and she saw his eyebrows rise through the rearview mirror.

"Want to go check out your new school?" she asked softly.

He blanched, immediately bringing his reindeer to his face. Shaking his head, he mumbled, "No."

"Why not? You'll be starting school on Monday. Wouldn't you like to see your new school?" she said as she stopped at a red light. She strained to keep her voice light.

"Don't want to go," Olaf grumbled.

"To see your school?"

"To school."

Elsa deflated.

She turned another corner and stored the names plastered on every little green sign she passed to the back of her memory.

"You need to go though," she whispered, gripping the wheel tighter when her hands shook.

Olaf squirmed in his seat and hid his face in his toy.

"It might be fun. You might make friends," Elsa continued.

She saw Olaf pull his toy away from his face and look out the window, squishing the stuffed animal underneath his chin. "I don't want to have to go to school," he said, face sullen.

Elsa was silent for another couple of blocks, feeling her eyes sting as she finally saw the building come into view when she turned a final corner.

"Nor do I," she whispered, throat tight once again. Then, before her son could notice the downturn curve of her lips, she took a deep breath and smiled. "Look sweetie, there it is," she said, pulling over to the right to park the car on the opposite street.

Olaf glanced away from his reindeer and stared out the window at the building. Elsa followed his gaze and stared at the structure, hands tight around the steering wheel. After a few silent moments, she gave Olaf a rueful smile, her courage lost.

"It doesn't look so bad, right?" she said, throat bobbing as she swallowed hard.

Olaf tugged at the antlers of his reindeer as he stared out the window at the school. He frowned and sank deeper into his chair, squishing the stuffed toy back to his chest.

"Do you want to take a closer look?" she asked. She blinked repeatedly to relieve the burning of her eyes.

"No," Olaf mumbled, the sullen look back on his face.

Elsa took another a long, slow, and deep breath.

"Let's have a closer look," she said, undoing her seatbelt. She stepped out of the car and walked around to the side, opening the backseat door. Olaf pouted as she undid his booster seat's belts, rubbing his cheek against his toy.

"Just for a little while, okay? Don't you want to see what your new school looks like?" Elsa said, voice low and soft again in the hopes that she'd ease his sulking.

"Not really," he grumbled, though he followed his mother out of the car when he was free. She took his hand and lead him gently down to the crosswalk toward the building, lifting her gaze toward it and away from her son. Though Olaf lagged behind her as they crossed the street, his grip was tight around her hand.

Elsa squeezed his hand in response.

The school buildings were white, with an iron mesh gate around most of the area except for the entrance by the largest building. From what she knew from the map on the school's website, there were three main buildings and four bungalows, with two playgrounds separating the grade levels. The largest building was connected to the auditorium, with the second largest building connected to the admissions office and the entrance in between the two.

The entrance was on the other side of the block, but Elsa walked along the iron mesh gate on the other side instead, gently tugging Olaf forward every time he stumbled or slowed. From the shuffling of his footsteps, she knew he was dragging his feet and her smile fell again, worry gnawing at her heart.

"We'll only look for a little bit, okay Olaf? We'll just check out the playground from the outside. That'll be nice, right? Seeing the playground? I heard it's bigger than the one back at your old school," she said.

Olaf sidled closer to her side and she felt him press his cheek against the denim of her jeans. Elsa momentarily let go of his hand to rub at the back of his head, running her hand through his hair.

They walked farther down the street to where she knew the smaller playground was, the one that the preschoolers and kindergartens had access to. It was at the edge of the school ground, on the corner of the street. Elsa stopped when they reached it, staring through the iron mesh at the small area. Olaf wrapped an arm around her leg and held his toy with the other, following her gaze as it roamed across the area.

It was a bit bigger than the playground at her son's former school, with a large sandbox and two trees on one side. Her eyes roved over the swing set, the monkey bars, and the jungle gym. She saw a few tables where she suspected the children had their lunch and her eyes darted to the building beyond the playground, the classrooms. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and said, "See? It's a bit bigger than the one you had back at your old school. Isn't that nice? There are more things to play on too. And you can have your lunch time out in the sun. You'd like that right?"

Olaf didn't say anything. Instead, he moved to press his face into her jeans again. Elsa sighed and ran her fingers through his hair again, tracing the shell of an ear.

"Are you scared?"

Olaf didn't answer, though Elsa's stomach dropped when she heard a sniffle.

"Do you miss your old school?"

He shook his head.

Elsa blinked past the wetness of her eyelashes.

"There's nothing to be scared of sweetie. It's okay to be nervous. I was when it was my first day of kindergarten, but it'll be okay. You'll see, it won't be so bad," she said as she looked down at him, dragging her lips back up to a smile again.

"Can't I just stay with you?" Olaf asked, pulling away from her leg with eyes wide and dark.

Her smile fell along with her shoulders and she stared at the fence, eyes following the criss-crossing pattern of the iron mesh. "Mommy has to work Olaf. You know that. I can't take you to work and I can't leave you all alone in the house, right?"

She heard Olaf whimper and felt his hand fall away from hers and she glanced down at him quickly, feeling a pang in her heart when he wrapped both arms around the reindeer plush and sniffed into it. She saw his eyes swirl with tears and her own burned all the more.

"I'll be there, you know."

Olaf continued to stare at the iron mesh fence.

Elsa sucked in her breath and continued.

"I'll be there when you wake up. And I'll be there when you go to sleep. I'll be there to make your lunch in the mornings and I'll be there to take you to school every day. I'll be there to pick you up when school is over and I'll be there to help you with your homework."

She paused with a shuddering breath and Olaf's eyes darted up to meet hers.

"And… I'll be there when you wake up in the night. When you can't go back to sleep or when you can't sleep at all. I'll be there to hold you when you're scared and when you cry. I'll be there when you feel like laughing again and I'll be there when you smile."

Elsa froze when Olaf's brow furrowed and his eyes grew dark and wet. She smiled shakily, reaching a hand down to curl around his. The bareness of her left hand—her ring finger—and the memory of the rings in the velvet case was a hollow reminder.

"I promise."

Olaf unfurled his hand from his toy and intertwined their fingers.

Elsa beamed and her heart rose and flew.

_I'm going to be a better mother to you now. I swear it._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **The third chapter. Thank you to everyone for your support. This one I think you will like. We get to see someone we know. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 3: I Wonder Who's Going, Coming My Way?<em>

* * *

><p>"Olaf no! Get away from there!"<p>

Elsa grabbed her son just as he reached to pull out the iron rack from the oven. Smoke billowed from the oven in thick black clouds, obscuring what was left of the double chocolate chip cookies Elsa had been attempting to make. Raising a fist to cover her mouth as she coughed and hacked, Elsa backed away from the oven, her son tucked to her chest. She set Olaf down several feet away from the oven and rushed to grab the small towel on the countertop, waving it at the cloud of smoke hissing from the oven.

"Olaf sweetie, do Mommy a favor and open the window please?" Elsa squeaked, eyes and nose stinging from the harsh burnt scent that filled the kitchen.

She heard Olaf race to the window. Her son grunted behind her as he pulled it open and the window pane squeaked from the force. Smoke swirled in front of her eyes while she waved at the oven, swiping the kitchen glove on the counter. She hissed when she grabbed the tray of cookies and another dark, foul cloud billowed in her face. Dropping the tray at the table, Elsa skittered out of the kitchen, hand still pressed against her mouth. She heard Olaf right behind her as she ran into the living room, shoulders shaking as her body was wracked with a coughing fit.

Bracing one hand against the wall, Elsa curled it into a fist and pressed her other hand hard against her mouth as she wheezed. Desperately, she tried to draw in clean air to her stinging lungs. Feeling a tiny hand on her leg, she glanced down at see Olaf peering at her, his brown eyes dark with worry.

"Mommy, are you okay?" he whimpered.

Elsa tried to smile past her fingers, but thought it must have come across more akin to a grimace when Olaf's brow furrowed deeper. She shook her head and patted his head, attempting to soothe him while her eyes leaked at the corners.

"It's okay sweetie, Mommy's fine," she choked out. With one last inhale, she pushed off the wall and walked back to the kitchen to assess the damage. Standing in the threshold, hand still over her mouth, Elsa surveyed the sight.

Black smoke was still seeping from the oven, though the dark puffs were much smaller than the initial cloud of ash. The tray of cookies that she'd thrown on the table before leaving the kitchen were little more than small discs of charcoal. As she stared down at the platter and picked up a few in the hopes that some of them were still salvageable, Elsa relayed the events of the morning with a heavy sigh.

After another rocky night of fitful sleep, filled with tossing and turning, she'd awoken to the sound of whimpering cries coming from Olaf's room. The neon green digits of her alarm clock had shown it was barely _4:37_. After retrieving her son from his bedroom and taking him to her own bed, Elsa found she had not been able to quell Olaf's nightmares. Laying atop the still-bare mattress, Elsa had rubbed soothing circles into his back and cooed lullabies into his ear, but her son had refused to sleep. He'd cried until light had finally begun to peek through the curtains of her window and then, from pure exhaustion, had finally dozed off for a mere two hours.

When the dawn had lit up the entirety of her room, Elsa knew that she should've gotten up and settled at her desk to work. But one look at her son's bleary and red-rimmed eyes convinced her otherwise. She hadn't had the heart to just tell him to go off and play with his toys. She hadn't wanted to leave him.

So, tilting his chin up to meet her own red-rimmed blue eyes, Elsa had asked him the first thing to come to mind.

_"Do you want to make some cookies?"_

And that had been the start to their morning. For the first several minutes, it had been filled with batting small frisky fingers away from cookie batter and squealing fits of laughter. Elsa had thought she was doing a good job at single motherhood then.

Now though, staring at the dark brown, almost black, discs that were _supposed _to be cookies, she reconsidered her previous internal statement.

Placing the 'cookies' back onto the tray, Elsa slumped into a chair and sighed, resting her hands in her lap. After a moment of hesitation, Olaf stepped toward her and placed his hands on her knees, staring up at her with a worried frown.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" he asked.

Elsa stared at the wall behind her son, another deep sigh leaving her. Exhaustion dragged her shoulders down and loss of sleep tugged at her eyelids. She closed her eyes and sniffed, hands curling in her lap.

_What am I doing? I don't know the first thing about being a mother, let alone a single one._

"Mommy?"

_This was a mistake, we could've at least stayed back at home. I didn't have to pack up everything and move us all the way across town with some half-hearted proclamation of making a 'fresh start'._

"Mommy?"

_I should've listened to everyone else when they said this was a bad idea. What was I doing when I thought this was a good idea? I shouldn't have—_

"Mommy, are you crying?"

Her eyes snapped open, a gasp leaving her lips.

Olaf stared up at her, frowning with worry. His lips jutted out in a sullen pout and his hands gripped the denim of her jeans tightly. When she blinked repeatedly at him, he sniffed and said, "Mommy, don't cry. Please?"

She sagged, bringing her lips up into a dutiful smile as she cupped his face, cooing, "Oh, no Olaf, Mommy isn't crying. Don't worry sweetie, I'm okay."

Olaf raised his hands to her wrists. "Then why are your eyes wet?"

Elsa stared at him, face blank. Then she noticed the coolness on her face and when she brushed her fingers against her cheek, they came away wet. Wiping her fingers on her jeans, she swallowed hard and cupped Olaf's cheek. "I'm okay. Mommy's okay Olaf," she said, voice watery and thick.

"Are you sure?" he asked, giving her a petulant glare.

Elsa forced out a laugh and nodded, picking her son up and settling him into her lap. She embraced him and rested her chin on his head, inhaling the scent of his shampoo with a deep sigh.

"Yes, Mommy's okay, sweetie. She's just very tired," she murmured. Then her eyes drifted over to the tray of cookies and she deflated again. "And sad that she burned the cookies."

Olaf pushed away from her chest and stared up at her, eyes widening as he squeaked, "It's okay Mommy! We can always make more. Don't be sad?"

Elsa stared at the innocent and earnest expression on his face, then glanced at the cookies again. She heard the return of all the doubtful thoughts about how she didn't really know the first thing concerning motherhood. When she looked at Olaf though, those thoughts dissipated, quieting gently. Her face brightened with a soft, slow, and genuine smile.

"Alright Olaf. I'll stop being sad. But maybe we should do something else for now besides making cookies. Is that okay?" she asked as she stood up, readjusting her hold on her son to tuck her arms underneath his bottom.

Olaf's hands went to play with the end of her braid, as he always did whenever she held him like this. "Can we play outside?"

Elsa planted kisses on his hair as she strode out of the kitchen to the foyer, mentally going over the schedule she had planned for the day. She still had work that she needed catching up on, since she'd gotten behind by spending her entire morning with Olaf. When she walked into the living room and her eyes spotted the backpack she'd bought for him on the couch, another reminder came back.

"Oh, that's right. Why don't we go shopping actually? I need to pick up a few things and we should go out and buy you the rest of your school supplies. You'll be starting school on Monday after all," she mused.

Olaf blanched, squirming in her hold as he whined, "Do we have to? Can't we go play outside instead?"

Elsa giggled and nuzzled his cheek. "We do have to. We need to make sure you have all the things you need for school when you go. You have to be prepared."

"I don't if I don't go to school," he grumbled, turning away from her nuzzling.

"And what makes you think you don't have to go to school?" she prodded, voice carrying a sing-song tone.

"I don't have to go to school if you let me stay home," he quipped, then squealed when she threw him into the air.

"Oh, is that so? What will you do if I let you stay home?" Elsa cooed, rubbing her nose against Olaf's and earning herself another squeal as she walked to the coat rack to get their coats.

"Play all day?" he offered, fiddling with her braid.

She laughed and threw him in the air again, grinning from cheek to cheek at his squeals.

"Come on, let's go and get your pencils and papers and crayons. You'd love a new batch of crayons right?"

* * *

><p>After cruising through the streets and turning a wrong corner once or twice, Elsa realized that she should have taken the time to look at the city map. Or maybe she should've spent some time driving around the neighborhood to familiarize herself with this side of the town. They arrived at the store fifteen minutes later than Elsa had planned. Another three minutes were spent trying to find parking space and Elsa knew she'd started chewing the inside of her cheek in stress.<p>

Rushing through the sliding glass doors, Elsa was already counting down the minutes she would need to make up for in her schedule. Coming to a stop past the detectors, Elsa half-turned and glanced around the store. She'd never been to this particular department store. Though she had never had the reason to, living on the other side of town as she had. But already she was feeling frazzled when she noticed it was larger than the one she was used to.

Olaf tugged on her hand and Elsa glanced down at him, frowning. He pressed against her leg and hid his mouth behind her hand, mumbling, "Mommy can we go look at the toys? Please?"

"We'll go look at them after we buy your school supplies." She laughed when Olaf made a face and led him farther into the store, looking this way and that in search of the signs that indicated what they needed.

After getting distracted by the clothing and make-up aisles, Elsa finally meandered into the aisle that sported all the crafts and materials for back-to-school. Looking at the rows of brightly colored crafts, it occurred to Elsa that she hadn't gone shopping for school supplies in a while. A long while actually, despite having a son.

Elsa stared at a row of No. 2 pencil packs while she chewed on her lip.

_Ivan had done most of the shopping. Anything Olaf needed, he bought while shopping for office supplies._

"Are you buying school supplies too?"

Elsa's head snapped up and her eyes landed on a pair of familiar blue (or were they green?) eyes.

A woman grinned back at her, sporting red hair tied down into two braids that fell over her shoulders. Freckles were speckled across her cheeks. Instead of the summery pale yellow dress she'd worn on Friday, the redhead was dressed in a cream blouse and black pants, the sleeves of her shirt pulled up to her elbows.

"Oh, you. It's you," Elsa squeaked, her fingers going slack around Olaf's hand. He moved closer to her and peered at the woman from behind her leg, glancing between his mother and the redhead.

The woman smiled bemusedly at her, tilting her head to one side. "Yeah? It's me?"

Elsa felt her cheeks flourish with red, eyes widening at the realization of how she must have come across. "I'm sorry," she breathed, shoulders hunching to her ears, "I- you're the woman from the other day? At the ice cream shop? I bumped into you."

The woman blinked a pair of thick eyelashes at her, then Elsa saw a look of recognition flash across her face and her lips formed a small 'o' shape.

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, that's right. You're the one from Sweet Cream's," she said, eyebrows rising as she pointed a finger at Elsa.

Elsa's blush darkened at the gesture and she nodded. "Y-yes that's what I said… I'm sorry for bumping into you the other day. I know I said it at that time too, but- but it's only polite that I say it again."

The woman's surprised look switched to the same cheery smile she'd given Elsa at the ice cream shop, dimples forming at the corners of her mouth. "Oh no! That's okay. Technically I bumped into you, so I should be the one apologizing really. So. Right, I'm sorry!"

Elsa shook her head, cheeks glowing with warmth, mumbling, "Oh no, it's fine. Is the shop always that crowded?"

The redhead stepped closer to her and Elsa leaned away as discreetly as possible while the woman peered at the rows of color pencils in front of them.

"During rush hour it is. It's the closest ice cream place around and the Friday special draws in a lot of customers. Or well, it draws in all the kids and they drag in all the parents," the woman said with a hearty chuckle.

Elsa felt a movement by her leg and glanced down again to see Olaf sidle closer to her. She quirked an eyebrow at him when she saw him stare broodily at the redhead. Then her face softened when she noticed the suspicious look in his dark eyes and she swept a hand through his hair, gently combing the thick black locks. He looked up at her with a pout and Elsa smiled reassuringly at him.

Out of the corner of her eye, Elsa saw the woman's eyes dart to her son. The easy smile on her face spread into a toothy grin.

"Oh hello," she chirped. "What's your name little guy?"

Olaf didn't answer and instead looked away from her, picking up a pack of color pencils as if he wanted to look busy. Elsa felt her lips twitch. On the one hand, she couldn't stop the giggle at her son's studious glare, but on the other hand she recognized that he was being rude. The redhead's grin faltered when Elsa glanced back at her and Elsa's cheeks deepened with red once again.

"His name's Olaf," she filled in, hoping her voice sounded more reassuring than it did chastened. "And he's usually more polite than this."

Olaf squeaked indignantly and the woman barked with laughter, her fist coming up to cover her face as she tried to hold back her giggles. Elsa was certain that her face was glowing brighter than a stop light now judging from the heat she felt radiating from her cheeks.

When her laughter finally subdued, the redhead straightened. She pressed a hand to her heart, shoulders still shaking with a remnant giggle or two. Shaking her head from side to side, her braids rustling with the movement, the woman held out her hand and Elsa blinked at it.

"Anna," she chirped, her blue-green eyes alight with humor.

Realization dawned on her quickly. Elsa gripped Anna's hand in a gentle hold and pulled it down in a single shake, retreating her hand immediately afterward. "Elsa," she said.

"It's nice to meet you Elsa," Anna replied, then glanced down at Olaf, "And you too Olaf."

Olaf pouted and hid his face in Elsa's pant leg, then tugged at her wrist and when Elsa looked at him, held up his arms. "Mommy I'm tired."

Dutifully, Elsa picked him up and tucked his head under her chin, giving Anna a shy smile when the redhead cooed endearingly.

"Aww he's tired? How old is he?" Anna asked.

"Five," Elsa answered, rubbing her son's back when he grumbled against her neck, "I suppose he's just a little cranky right now. He's shy around strangers, but usually more polite than this. I left his favorite toy back at the house and he's been a little down about it is all."

Anna's eyes softened and she said, "Missing his best friend huh?"

Elsa shifted Olaf and jiggled him, feeling her son's weight begin to slacken in her arms. "You could say that. We had a long morning too and he didn't sleep well too."

"He's tired then. Don't worry about his earlier behavior then, it's no big deal," Anna assured, smiling warmly at Olaf. "Poor little guy wants his nap huh?"

Olaf turned and pouted at Anna, sniffing, "I'm not little, I'm big. I'll be six years old next year. I'll be a first grader!"

To Elsa's relief, Anna's endeared expression didn't shift to annoyance, but instead to amusement and she giggled, "Ohh that's right I'm sorry. You're a big boy huh?"

Olaf nodded fervently and Elsa smirked when he puffed up his chest. "I'm a big boy. Mommy let's me tie my shoes by myself now and I can make my lunch too," he chittered.

"I usually make his lunch though. He's still a little bit clumsy with utensils," Elsa cut in, wondering if the blush that warmed her cheeks was because of her son's boasting or the thought that Anna might puzzle over why Olaf's mother didn't make his lunch.

_I make it everyday though. Even back then I always made sure I at least made his lunch._

"Well he sounds like he has good dexterity! Kids take a couple of more years before their motor skills are polished, so he sounds like he's right on target," Anna chuckled as she turned back to the shelves. It was at that point when Elsa noticed the little notebook in the woman's hands as she raised it up, scribbling something down with a plum-colored pen.

"Do you have kids?" Elsa asked, eyes flicking from the notebook to Anna's face when she realized she was staring. Olaf had settled back against her shoulder and she could feel the tug of his hands at the end of her braid.

Anna grinned at her as she walked over to another rack of supplies and jotted down another note. "That's right!"

"Shopping for school supplies as well right? Um, you asked me that earlier, but I never actually gave you an answer," Elsa mumbled. She lowered her gaze slightly. "Sorry."

Anna nodded and clicked her tongue as her pen scribbled down her notebook. "Sort of. I'm making a list of school supplies for my kids actually. To give to their parents."

"Your kids?" Elsa blinked and shifted Olaf in her arms, rubbing his back when he placed his chin on her shoulder. She could feel him beginning to drift off. "To, um, their parents?"

Anna caught her eye and laughed, waving her notebook and saying, "Oh, no, no! I mean the kids I teach. I don't have any kids of my own, sorry for the confusion."

"Oh, you're a teacher?" Elsa rocked Olaf from side to side and when Anna beamed at her, gathered it was okay to step closer to the other woman.

"That's right," Anna piped, looking back and forth between Elsa and the aisle racks.

"What do you teach?" Elsa asked, feeling a surge of confidence when she noted that her attempts at small talk seemed to be working.

"Elementary school," Anna said, writing down the price of a packet of erasers.

Elsa beamed and perked up. "Oh? My son is starting his first day of kindergarten on Monday actually! What grade level do you teach? Do you know any of the kindergarten teachers? Can you tell me what they're like?"

Anna's face whipped back to her and her mouth formed a little 'o' shape again. An odd expression flashed across her mouth. She parted her lips as if to say something, but a sudden beeping noise made them both jump.

Elsa blinked several times as her heart jump-started in her chest, holding Olaf more tightly as Anna scrambled with her clothes, fishing a cell phone out of her pocket.

"Sorry," Anna hissed as she accepted the call, bringing the cell phone up to her ear. "Hello? Who's calling?"

Anna half-turned away from her and Elsa moved to survey the gel pens to give Anna her privacy. Her ears burned as she tried not to eavesdrop on Anna's conversation, fiddling with the string of Olaf's hoodie as she inspected a pack of markers that she thought Olaf might like. After a few minutes, she heard Anna mumble a goodbye to the other person and glanced at her to see Anna stuffing her phone back in her pocket.

Anna gave her an apologetic half-smile, saying, "I have to go sorry. I was supposed to meet up with my friend a little bit ago to discuss his curriculum, but I got a little caught up." She giggled and waved a hand between them and Elsa flushed at the implication.

"I'm sorry, did I keep you?" she asked, biting her bottom lip and frowning.

"Oh no!" Anna exclaimed, "It's okay you didn't keep me. I just get easily distracted when I talk to someone, so I'm always losing track of things."

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ears and a blush bloomed on her cheeks as she nervously giggled. Elsa's own blush darkened and she nodded at her, pressing a kiss to Olaf's cheek, who was now slumbering against her shoulder.

"O-oh, I see. Well, um, it was nice meeting you Anna?" she stuttered.

Anna nodded as she tucked her notebook into the back of her pocket, saying, "It was nice meeting you too Elsa." She turned to walk away, but not before glancing back over her shoulder and waving enthusiastically, "I'll see you around?"

"Oh, um, yes? See you around," Elsa replied, aware that her voice was more subdued than Anna's cheerful tone, though she hoped not unkind.

Anna beamed and Elsa watched her walk away, musing over the conversation in her head when the redhead disappeared from the aisle. At the back of her mind, she was aware that her little chat with the woman had put her even farther behind schedule and she had yet to actually buy her son's school supplies. The reminders of how she would need to adjust her schedule to make up for lost time were insistent to Elsa, but they were quieted by the strange giddiness that had begun to well up in her chest.

As she turned back to the shelves, intent on actually finishing her shopping, and Olaf fast asleep in her arms, Elsa replayed the conversation over and over in her head. A smile slowly stretched across her face as she listened to Olaf's soft breathing by her ear.

_I finally got to know someone in this place. Maybe I can do this after all._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Here's the fourth chapter at last. Thank you everyone for being patient. A much longer chapter to make up for the wait. I had finals to slog through. This fic is a bit of a slow-burn in terms of the Elsanna, but we'll get to it eventually. Hope you enjoy the story while we do.

Special thanks goes to my best friend for helping me out with writing as usual.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 4: If You Knew What I Know, Would You Try?<em>

* * *

><p>"It'll be fun."<p>

Olaf scowled.

"You might make some friends."

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Your teacher might be really nice and funny?"

He shuffled his reindeer plush in his arms.

"You'll get to learn a lot of new things."

Olaf's dark eyes stared resolutely at the ground.

Elsa sighed and stood up, lifting her hands from her knees to cross them loosely over her stomach. She'd been bending in a crouch for the last ten minutes trying to coax her son into a better mood.

But Olaf stood rooted to the spot at the base of the stairs, holding his toy tightly to his chest. Elsa nibbled her lip as she tried to gauge her son's irritation. She knew he'd had another sleepless night, but rather than the usual clinging and crying he was wont to do, Olaf was quiet this morning.

Elsa could deal with his crying fits, though she always ached when he did so.

But Olaf's sullen moods were another monster that she wasn't certain how to deal with.

And, watching her son as he fiddled with the antlers of his toy, she could see that his mood was worse than usual today.

She at least knew why this time.

Elsa glanced at the calendar on the kitchen wall and fixed her gaze on the square with a bright red circle looped around it.

_Monday, August 25th._

Olaf's first day of school.

Elsa heaved another sigh and said, "You know you can't stay here alone Olaf."

When he didn't answer and continued to play with his toy, Elsa rubbed the nape of her neck and said, "I have to go to work soon sweetie. If we don't go now, Mommy will be late."

Olaf's resolve crumbled at that, his frown softening into a resigned expression. Lower lip jutting out in a pout, he nodded and stepped forward so that Elsa could slip his hoodie on.

As she pulled the garment around his arms, Olaf glanced between her and his toy, then mumbled, "Can I bring him too Mommy?"

"Bring who?" Elsa asked with a frown, straightening the hoodie around Olaf's shoulders.

"Him," Olaf answered, holding up his toy.

_Oh. _Elsa smiled gently and tilted her head as she zipped up her son's hoodie, bracing herself for the sulking that she knew would come with her reply. Taking a deep breath, she spoke in the softest voice she could manage, barely more than a coo, "I think… well, dear, I think you might have to leave him...behind."

She didn't look directly at Olaf's face, keeping her gaze fixed over his shoulder and staring at the foot of the stairs. Olaf didn't say anything and when a few minutes had passed without a noise from him, Elsa shifted her gaze back to him.

That was a mistake.

She winced at the look on his face, his dark brown eyes growing big, round, and wet. _Oh no. Don't cry. _Chewing her bottom lip, she waited and watched each miniscule expression flash across his face.

Olaf's face slowly twisted, one tooth digging into the corner of his bottom lip as his brow knitted together. Elsa could see the tell-tale signs of confusion as his lip quivered, eyes leaking at the corners. Her own expression scrunched up to mirror his, her lip pulled between her teeth as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Now sweetie," she began tentatively, "I don't know if they let you take toys to school. It's better to leave him here. And you might misplace him at school. Here he'll be nice and safe, and he'll be waiting for you when you come home."

"But," Olaf whimpered.

"There'll be plenty of things for you to do at school," Elsa murmured, reaching out to take the reindeer from Olaf's hands.

"No," Olaf whined, taking a step back from his mother. He squashed the toy underneath his chin and stared at her with pleading eyes. "I don't want to go to school without him."

"Olaf," Elsa cautioned, sighing as she dropped her hands back to her sides. Olaf buried his face into the neck of his toy and Elsa wrung her hands together.

"Please?" he whispered, looking up at her after a moment.

Elsa winced.

_Puppy dog eyes._

Briefly she wondered how Ivan had ever been able to part Olaf from the reindeer plush, then pushed back the stray of dark thoughts that sprouted whenever her husband came to mind.

"Alright."

Olaf snapped his head up, eyes wide.

"Alright, you can take him with you," she started.

Olaf let out a squeak, mouth forming a small 'o' shape and dark eyes brightening.

"But," Elsa cut in, "only for the car ride."

"Why?" he yelped, face dropping back into a pout again.

"Because you might lose him," she said, "and you wouldn't want that, would you?"

"Well, no," he said, lowering his gaze.

Elsa softened and bent down to her son's eye level, tilting her head and trying to catch his eye. "So it's better if you leave him behind where that can't happen sweetie. You can take him with you for the car ride, but then you have to leave him with me, okay?"

Olaf hesitated for a moment, one hand petting the fuzz of his toy. "Okay," he said, relenting at last.

Elsa smiled gently and cupped his face, leaning down to press her nose against his. She nuzzled him and cooed, "Alright, c'mon now. We need to hurry up, Mommy's already going to be late."

* * *

><p>The school was as much of a hustle and bustle as the ice cream shop had been, when they'd visited on Friday.<p>

Elsa stared out the window of her car as she watched adults and children milling about while they waited for the gate to open. Her hands loosely gripped the steering wheel, though her fingers flexed now and then as the tempo of her heartbeat increased. She inhaled and pushed back the ensuing anxiety

Undoing her seatbelt, Elsa slid out of the driver's seat and strode to help Olaf out in the backseat. He squirmed in his booster seat as she undid his buckles, arms clamped tight around his reindeer. When he was free, Elsa leaned back and crossed her arms around her stomach, fixing him with a gentle gaze.

"Alright sweetie, time for your first day of school," she said.

Olaf didn't move right away, eyes downcast to stare at his toy. The longer he sat there fiddling with the stuffed animal, the more Elsa felt her resolve giving way.

_Maybe... Is there a rule that would let him keep it?_

There probably was a rule that he wasn't allowed to bring a toy to school, but more and more Elsa was finding it hard to deny her son anything.

Sighing, she uncrossed her arms and reached out to pick up her son. Olaf flinched at the gesture and Elsa felt a heavy pang to her heart, but he didn't move when she embraced him. Lifting him out of his seat, Elsa tucked him against her chest and nuzzled her nose against his hair, murmuring, "He'll have to stay behind sweetie. School won't be so bad, trust me? You'll make a lot of new friends before you even know it."

Olaf wriggled in her arms, then mumbled into her chest, "Okay. You'll take care of him while I'm at school Mommy?"

Elsa smiled as her son passed her the toy, grabbing it with one hand and balancing her son with the other. "Of course I will sweetie. He'll stay with me while you're at school and when I come to pick you up, he'll be waiting for you too."

"Okay," Olaf sniffed, finally relenting.

Elsa set him down and placed the stuffed reindeer in the backseat, aware of her son's large and watery eyes following the movement. Picking up Olaf's backpack as well her purse, Elsa tried to smile reassuringly at him as she slipped it on his back. Olaf gave her a slightly petulant look, lower lip curving down in a pout.

"First day of school!" Elsa cooed, nudging him forward. "First day of learning and playing and making friends!"

Olaf didn't share her enthusiasm, though he allowed Elsa to take him by the hand nonetheless. Elsa kept him close, hand wrapped securely around his as she walked them toward the gate. She felt her heart skip a beat as they neared the crowd, tugging Olaf a little closer as they merged with the rest of the adults and children. Olaf latched himself firmly to her leg and, feeling at a bit of a loss, Elsa looked from side to side.

_Where are we supposed to go?_

Feeling a movement at her leg, Elsa glanced down to see Olaf staring up at her, pouty frown still in place.

Sucking in a breath, Elsa quickly shuffled through her purse for Olaf's classroom information as she said, "Let's see, I think your room was number...five?" Her hand found the crinkled piece of paper and she pulled it out, unfolding it. Her eyes scanned the information as she led Olaf forward, mumbling under her breath, "And your teacher was Ms., um, where is it-"

"Ms.," Elsa frowned as she strode to the nearest buildings, gazing back and forth at the row of numbers and the slip of paper, "Ms… Anderson?"

"That's right!"

Elsa snapped her gaze up from the paper and jumped, whirling around for the source of the voice. Her blue eyes landed on a lean figure, standing only a few feet away from a nearby open door. Slim, slightly shorter than her with bright red hair wound down into two braids, a familiar pair of blue-green eyes twinkled back at her.

"Hello," Anna called out cheerily, giving Elsa and Olaf a small, enthusiastic wave.

"You," Elsa breathed, eyes widening. Olaf clung to her leg, pressing his cheek against the denim of her jeans. She felt him squeeze her hand and squeezed his in return.

"Me!" Anna replied, giggling when Elsa's cheeks flushed.

"I'm sorry," Elsa said, flustered at the warmth flooding her face. "That was rude of me. I should've learned that the first time."

"It's okay," Anna said, tilting her head at Elsa with a grin. She giggled again and Elsa felt her face flush deeper. "You don't have to apologize all the time. You probably weren't expecting us to meet again so soon. And definitely not like this either I bet!"

She laughed and Elsa allowed her face to settle into an uneasy and crooked smile. _Well, she doesn't seem offended. _She wasn't sure if it was because Anna was not the type to be offended or Elsa was just being self-conscious.

"It's nice seeing you again Ann- Ms. Anderson," Elsa hastily corrected herself, feeling another swift blush bloom on her cheeks.

"Hmm?" Head still tilted, Anna bit her lip and frowned at that. "I said my name was Anna last time, didn't I?"

Elsa shuffled her feet and ducked her head, staring at a dark spot on the ground. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Olaf look between her and the woman, a suspicious frown on his face. "Y-yes you did. I recall you introducing yourself as such."

"Sooo," Anna said, a grin stretching across her face, "it's nice seeing you again… Ahh?"

Elsa furrowed her brow and fought down the warmth in her cheeks, mumbling, "It's nice seeing you again... Anna?"

"That's right!" Anna quipped, eyes bright as she straightened. She held out her hand and Elsa took it, the two of them sharing a single shake as Anna said, "I'm a teacher, but I still have a first name! And if I've already told you that name, feel free to call me by it."

Letting go of Anna's hand, Elsa dropped hers to idly hover at her side. She smiled slightly and said, "Well, you can call me Elsa then. A-as I said the other day."

"It's nice to meet you Elsa." Anna giggled. "Again."

Elsa lost the battle of willing her blush away as it rushed back to life, her awkward smile curving her lips. She was distracted from the mirth on Anna's face when Olaf moved at her side again and her eyes shot down to him. He was biting his nails, looking at Anna with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity. Elsa pulled her hand from his and he looked at her fearfully for a moment before she stroked the back of his head, combing her fingers through his hair.

Anna's gaze softened when she noticed Olaf. She bent down and placed her hands on her knees, smiling brightly, "Hey there little guy, it's nice to see you again too. What's up? Ready for your first day at school?"

Olaf leaned away from her a little and Elsa bit down on the desire to tell him not to be rude.

Anna nibbled her lip, then said, "No? That's a shame. I'm sure you'll like it here. We'll be playing games with words and numbers, have coloring time, recess, snack time—all that good stuff. Excited?"

When Olaf looked between her and Anna, brow furrowed, Elsa hurriedly said, "He is. He's excited. He's just nervous is all. We only recently moved here, so he doesn't know anyone. Hasn't had a chance to make friends yet."

Anna's eyes rounded, lips parting. "Oh! New in the neighborhood? Well, that would explain why you didn't know about Friday rush hour at Sweet's."

Rising up, Anna dusted off her pants and smiled at Olaf, who hid behind his mother's leg. "Hmm, that's okay. I'll make sure he gets a nice warm welcome here. You don't have to worry about him."

"You hear that?" Elsa said, smiling down at Olaf. "She'll take care of you. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Olaf glared at her and Elsa held back a sigh.

_Of course it doesn't._

When she looked more closely at him though, Elsa wavered at the wateriness in his eyes as he lowered his gaze.

_He thinks I'm leaving him._

Chewing her lip, Elsa turned back to Anna and ignored the curious look on her face as she said, "By any chance, do you know if it's allowed for a child to bring a stuffed toy to class?"

Surprise flashed across Anna's face. "Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's against school policy to bring stuffed toys and things like that."

Olaf's head dropped beside her. She squeezed his hand. "Can you tell me why?"

Anna beamed. "Certainly!" She began counting off her fingers. "Well, of course children tend to fight over a toy if someone brings it. Also, health. We've had a few outbreaks like lice and things because children brought in their blankets and toys. So the toys ended up being taken away anyway."

Elsa gripped her son's hand tighter. _The last thing Olaf needs is fighting. And I definitely don't want him getting sick. But how am going to be able to help him when he starts crying? I'll be at work..._

Anna lowered her hand and offered her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry. I know some kids are really attached to their toys, but I'm not allowed to have kids bring them in."

Elsa shook her head quickly. "Oh, no. It's fine. I was simply curious."

Anna's teeth shone in the summer light. "Of course! If you ever have questions about anything, feel free to ask me."

"Thank you," Elsa murmured. She half-turned. "Then, I'll be going now."

"It was a pleasure meeting—"

"You're leaving already?" Olaf squeaked, snapping his head to her.

Elsa froze at the same time Anna's mouth clamped shut.

Olaf's lips were slightly parted, his eyes wide as Elsa slowly turned her gaze on him. Her throat tightened when she saw his chest begin to rise and fall in the telltale signs of a crying fit.

"Olaf," Elsa began gently, moving to lay her hands on his shoulders.

Olaf recoiled from her and Elsa stilled, hands outstretched and fingers splayed. She watched the minute twitches of his face as a myriad of emotions flickered by. Out of the corner of her eye, Elsa noticed Anna's nonplussed expression as the redhead looked from her to Olaf.

"Maybe we should step aside," Anna whispered, gesturing for them to move as a small group of children started to trail toward the classroom. A quick glance at Elsa's wristwatch showed her that the class would begin in ten minutes.

Nodding at Anna, she ushered her son out of the way of some parents and kids, following Anna's lead as the woman walked around the corner of the building to an empty wall. Anna glanced up and down the empty outdoor hallway before turning to Elsa and giving her a half-smile.

"Would you like me to give you two some space while you take a moment with your son?" she asked.

Before Elsa could reply, Olaf choked out a half-sob. Elsa winced and watched as fat droplets began to trickle down her son's cheeks, his lips quivering.

"Olaf, sweetie, please don't cry," she said, kneeling in front of him and cupping his cheeks.

Beside her, Anna's face scrunched up, torn between something like sympathy and discomfort. She shuffled her weight from one foot to the other, watching Olaf with a furrowed brow.

"I don't want you to go so soon," he hiccuped, shoulders shaking.

Elsa pushed back every chastising thought that came to mind for not telling her son sooner. Weakly smiling, she said, "I have to go sweetheart. I'm going to be late for work if I don't leave now. You know that right?."

"Can I just go to work with you?" he whimpered.

"No, sweetie, you can't," Elsa said slowly, hesitating for a moment before she wiped Olaf's eyes with her sleeve.

"I don't want you to go," he choked out. He stared up at Elsa and if ever there was a time when Elsa wanted a hole to emerge in the ground and swallow her up, it was now.

"I didn't want to go to school," he sobbed, "I don't want to be here."

Elsa cringed and looked away from him, heartbeat racing faster at the sounds of his messy hiccups. Anna shifted next to her and Elsa glanced at the woman as she stepped forward.

"Hey, hey there little guy, it's okay. Don't cry," Anna whispered.

Olaf continued to whimper as Anna crouched beside them, placing her hands on her knees as she bent to his eye level. Anna cooed and reached over to pat his back and Elsa's throat tightened. She opened her mouth to say something, but Olaf flinched only slightly as Anna rubbed small circles on his shoulder.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. That's what the problem is right? You're scared, huh?" Anna said, expression softening in concern.

Olaf sniffed and stared at her, silent.

Anna smiled and took his hand in hers, patting it gently as she said, "Well, you don't have to be afraid. I'm sure the other kids will be really nice to you. I'll be here too, if you want to talk to me as well, or if you need anything. You can always come to me."

Elsa held her breath as she watched Olaf's expression shift, eyes swirling with emotion. She watched as his breathing slowed, the rapid rise and fall of his chest evening out. Letting out her breath, hoping that his panic had subsided, Elsa leaned over and kissed his cheek, murmuring, "It's okay sweetie. I'll see you when work is over, okay?"

Olaf gripped her sleeve when she moved to draw back, eyes scanning hers. "Promise?" he said.

Elsa swallowed, then nodded, "Of course, I promise."

Assured that a crying fit had been dodged, Elsa brought her son into a loose embrace. She gave him a light squeeze and then straightened, smiling sadly at the stray hiccup or two he uttered. Turning to Anna, Elsa grinned wobbly, "Thank you Ms. Ander- Anna. Thank you Anna."

Anna smiled at her and shook her head. She gestured for them to walk and Elsa led her son down the path back to the classroom as Anna spoke. "Don't mention it. I've dealt with my fair share of nervous children. It's not the first time a kid's cried on the first day of school."

Elsa's grin wavered. "He doesn't like strangers is all." Anna glanced at Olaf softly when he sidled closer to Elsa and Elsa licked her dry lips, rubbing the back of his head. "He's a bit, well, timid you could say."

Anna nodded, saying, "I can see that. But he'll be okay. A lot of kids are nervous on the first day, as I said. It's only for a few hours. And the staff who run the daycare are good people. I take the kids to the daycare center myself, it's over in room seven. You don't have to worry," Anna said, and though her voice was reassuring, Elsa hardly felt appeased.

Still, she kept up a brave front for Olaf. "Do you hear that sweetie? School is only for a few hours. Then after that you get to spend the rest of the time playing all day with other kids at daycare."

Olaf was silent as they walked back to the classroom and Elsa held back her sigh, staring at the red-rimmed lining of his eyes. They turned the corner and neared the open door, where a few children still stood by with their parents exchanging goodbyes. Feeling her self-consciousness come back, Elsa paused a few feet away and leaned down to give her son another embrace. Olaf didn't return her hug, but she felt him grip her arm with one hand. Kissing his cheek once more, she straightened and looked between him and Anna, smiling awkwardly. "Well, have fun at school sweetie. Don't forget to eat your snack, listen to your teacher, and…try to have fun dear. I'll see you when I come pick you up, okay?"

Olaf sniffed. "Okay.

Anna smiled when she noticed Elsa's hesitancy. "I'll take care of him, don't worry," she reassured. Her eyes were warm and soft and filled with empathy.

Elsa bit her lip and nodded after a moment, bending down to give her son another kiss, one that lingered this time. She murmured against his cheek, "Goodbye sweetie."

"Bye," he squeaked, squeezing her arm.

Inhaling sharply, she stood up and nodded politely at Anna, who waved her hand in goodbye as Elsa started back to the gate. Elsa fluttered her fingers in a small wave in return and turned on her heel, shoulders stiff and up to her ears as she marched back to the gate. She pushed the image of Olaf's melancholic face to the back of her mind as she walked to her car, heart still thudding in her chest.

_Only for eight hours. It's just eight hours._

It did little to comfort her.

* * *

><p>Work seemed to crawl by in a daze.<p>

Elsa dutifully typed away at her desk, eyes fixated on the rows and columns of numbers and figures. She didn't stray her gaze away from the monitor to glance at her wristwatch for the time, though the urge to do so nagged at her. She remained focused and composed, back ramrod straight in her chair as the minutes ticked slowly toward the lunch hour.

When her phone chirped a birdsong tune though, Elsa almost sagged from relief.

Whipping her cell out from her pocket, she shut off the customized alarm and allowed herself to finally look at the time.

_12:30._

Olaf would be finishing school by now. Elsa chewed on her lip and her eyes wandered to stare at the single frame on her desk. Her desk was bare and had little in the way of sentimental possessions. Other than her coffee mug and a custom mouse pad, the picture frame was the only other thing she had on it besides office supplies. She reached over and picked it up, raising it to her face as she traced her left fingers along the frame.

A mere four-by-four, the photo in the small black frame had been taken when Olaf was two. Elsa's eyes glazed over as she took in the picture, lips parting absentmindedly. It was hard to connect the small giggling baby in her arms to the boy she'd dropped off at school that morning. Olaf's eyes were wide and bright, a grin spread across his cheeks. Her eyes strayed to herself, staring at the woman with a healthy glow to her skin and clear blue eyes, face caught in the middle of a laugh as she cradled her son to her chest. Elsa swallowed.

The picture had been taken against a background drop of mountains, tipped with snow on a clear sunny day. A smile curved Elsa's lips as she remembered the cabin they'd stayed in, not too far off from the sight where they'd taken the picture. They'd spent a week up in the mountains with a few friends and family, going down to the nearby lake to fish and then stargazing at night. She couldn't remember a more relaxing vacation.

Elsa's gaze drifted to the third figure in the frame, the man to her right.

Her breath caught.

At first glance, Olaf was Ivan's spitting image. The two of them sported the same mop of black hair, with a complexion that wasn't as fair as Elsa's. Her husband had been a few inches taller than her, with a lean build and dark eyes, the same as her son. Elsa followed the way his arm had been draped across her neck and shoulders, his hand laid upon her left shoulder. Ivan had smiled loosely at the camera, much more subdued than Elsa's own laughing grin.

She stroked a finger along the frame.

Once, Elsa had been happy her son had shared his father's features, especially his eyes. Ivan and Olaf had shared the same rich dark brown eyes, a hue she'd always thought of as warm in its depth. A deep color that reminded her of the mahogany chairs and tables they used to own, situated in an expansive dining room. Surrounded by fine porcelain and sunlit windows.

Now, Olaf was hard to look at sometimes.

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Elsa breathed a sigh through her teeth and lowered the frame back onto her desk.

"Elsa?"

She startled, glancing up with raised eyebrows.

A slight and lean blonde-haired woman stood by the entrance to her cubicle, hands tucked neatly at her sides.

"Did you want to get some lunch? Me and some of the others were going to go down to Subway," she said, dark blue eyes curious and inviting.

Elsa glanced at her watch and then to her monitor, fingers drumming against her knee.

"Actually, um, I was planning to get through these documents. I'm a little behind schedule Cindy, sorry," she said, smiling weakly at her coworker.

Cindy frowned and crossed her arms, eyes glancing at the spreadsheets on Elsa's screen. "Those figures aren't due until Thursday Elsa. You could spare some time for lunch can't you?"

Elsa stared at her.

Cindy sighed and dropped her arms. "It's just I know, well, we know-" Elsa raised an eyebrow "-that you've sort of been running yourself into the ground lately. I mean, I understand it must be difficult for you right now, what with your, um, husband and all-"

_No you don't._

A hot flash of anger spiked in Elsa's veins and she narrowed her eyes.

_None of you know what you're talking about._

Cindy rubbed the nape of her neck and mumbled, "We just think you need to get off the computer and stretch those legs. A little time off?"

_A little time off isn't going to solve my problems, or make things any better. I don't get any time off with Olaf how he is right now._

As soon as the words entered her mind though, Elsa immediately chastised herself. Her coworkers were only trying to look out for her. Their odd dancing and eggshell walking around her was only because none of them had ever dealt with a situation such as hers. The anger in her veins went cold and her shoulders sagged with a small sigh.

_It's not like this sort of thing is common. Well, it's uncommon maybe. I don't know. They're trying.  
><em>  
>She could stand to be a little more patient with them.<p>

_And I will. I'm probably just making everyone awkward. I could try to make everything normal again. And that can start by going out to lunch with them._

"Sure," Elsa suddenly said, quirking her lips into something she hoped resembled a smile.

By the way Cindy's eyes widened and her jaw slackened, Elsa almost took back her words, her smile replacing with an unsure frown.

"That's okay, right?" she said slowly, brow furrowed as she tried to gauge Cindys expression.

"Huh?" Cindy said, then spluttered when Elsa sunk lower into her seat. "Huh?! Oh! No, yes of course! Yes that's okay. Of course it's okay. I just didn't expect you to- to actually-"

Elsa raised an eyebrow, slowly crossing her arms over her stomach. "To...?" She trailed off.

"To accept," Cindy said, then winced when Elsa's face fell.

"Not that I meant that in a bad way or anything dear! I mean, none of us blame you of course. Like I said, we all understand that this must be really difficult for you and that you've been really busy, what with moving across town and—"

Elsa cleared her throat.

Cindy paused in her ramble and flushed. "Sorry dear," she said, shoulders drawing up to her ears. "Didn't mean to go off on a ramble. What I meant to say was that, well, we're just—"

Elsa raised up a hand to cut her off. "No it's okay, I understand. I get that you're all just trying to-" she licked her lips when Cindy shot her a worried look, "-I mean. Well. Lunch?"

They exchanged weak smiles and Cindy nodded, saying that she'd wait with the others on the ground floor while Elsa got ready.

When she walked out of the cubicle, Elsa turned back to the photo on her desk.

She wrung her hands together as she stared at Olaf's bright smile, then found her gaze straying to Ivan's face.

_I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing._

She repeated the mantra in her head as she grabbed her things.

* * *

><p>She wasn't sure what she was expecting when she parked her car by the side of the school. A commotion of some sorts? A sign or something that leaving Olaf at school had been a mistake? But as she turned off the ignition and looked up at the building, there wasn't anything that indicated that something disastrous had happened. The school looked perfectly normal.<p>

Elsa nibbled on her bottom lip as she unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Just as she was grabbing her purse and moving to shut the door, a thought occurred to her. Closing the door to the driver's seat, she moved to the back seat and opened it to grab something from behind it. Elsa smiled as she pulled out the reindeer plush toy.

"Olaf will be happy to see you," she said, then frowned.

_I hope he enjoyed his first day._

Tucking the toy under her arm, she made her way to the building and past the gate, briskly heading toward room number five.

Around her, children were exiting their classrooms and rushing out to meet their guardians. She swayed through the crowd, looking left and right as she clutched Olaf's toy to her side.

_Room five, room five. _

She brightened when she saw it.

"There!" Elsa breathed.

The classroom door practically slammed open.

Elsa stiffened.

She hung back as other parents went over to greet their children. Elsa wrung her hands together as her eyes searched for her son. She couldn't see him through the crowd milling about and the group of children beginning to flood out of the door. She'd need to get closer.

_Closer._

Elsa dug her tooth harder into her lip. She stood on her toes, looking over the heads and shoulders of the surrounding adults before caving in. Elsa sidled around a family of five, a young man, an elderly woman, and a few single adults. She avoided bumping into anyone as much as she could.

_Olaf, where are you?_

She spotted him through the weaving mass of children. Despite the fact that Olaf blended among his classmates, inconspicuous with his dark hair and eyes, Elsa's gaze zeroed in on him faster than a lightning bolt.

She sucked in a breath and strode forward, trying to keep her gait even and restrained. When Olaf squeezed through a group of boys and his eyes connected with hers though, Elsa couldn't contain herself.

His eyes lit up, mouth parting in a squeal.

"Mommy!"

Elsa's heart stopped.

"Baby!" she gasped, pushing past a pair of adults to rush toward her son.

"Momma! Mommy! Mom!" Olaf cheered, breaking away from the crowd to race toward her.

Elsa opened her arms just as he launched at her, knocking the wind out of her from the force of his tackling hug. She lifted him to her chest and wrapped her arms around him, tight and secure. Burying her face in his hair, Elsa breathed in the lingering scent of his shampoo and another scent she could only describe as Olaf.

"I missed you," he mumbled into her shirt, arms squeezing her neck in a vice grip.

She choked back the lump in her throat.

"I'm here now baby. I won't let you go," she rasped, surprised at the wetness of her voice.

Olaf nuzzled closer to her and his tiny hands entangled in the hairs at her nape, short legs trying to wrap around her torso. Elsa rubbed his back in haphazard circles, trying to even her shaky breathing as she cradled him. She pressed a kiss to his hair and reveled in the feeling of being so close to him. The anxiety that had knotted her stomach in a tight coil finally loosened, her mind quieting.

"I'm so happy to see you baby," she cooed, refusing to ease her hold on him. He made a small noise and buried his face in the crook of her neck. Elsa swallowed several times to push back the lump in her throat, but found her voice was still shaky when she said, "How was your first day of school sweetie? Did you like it? Did you have fun?"

She pulled back at last, eyes darting all over his face, taking in the slight puffiness of his eyes and the pallor of his cheeks.

_Has he been crying?_

Before she could inspect Olaf's face more closely, a movement made her look up.

Anna was standing by the door of the classroom, excitedly waving goodbye to a pair of students and adults. When she caught sight of Elsa, something flashed across her face. Elsa blinked at the odd expression, but the look was gone before she had a chance to question it. Anna turned away from the adults milling by the classroom and strode toward Elsa, a half-smile on her face.

"Hello again," she said softly.

"Hello," Elsa said, nodding politely. She blinked when Anna glanced at Olaf first before looking at Elsa, then blurted out, "Did he behave?"

Anna laughed and Elsa pushed down the thought of her son having a fit in class.

"He behaved, don't worry. He was very quiet and wasn't a disturbance." Her blue-green eyes twinkled. "He seems like an utter sweetheart."

Elsa relaxed, somewhat. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Anna's grin stretched to her ears. "It was my pleasure!" She winked. "It's kind of my job too, looking after the kids?" Then, her expression softened. "But no, really. It was my pleasure."

For some reason, Elsa found it hard to speak. She simply swallowed and nodded.

They stood there staring at each other for a few moments.

Elsa snapped her gaze back to her son. "Look Olaf, look what Mommy brought you," she piped, lifting up the stuffed animal. Olaf squealed and ripped it from her grasp, much to Elsa's shock.

Anna laughed as Olaf smushed the toy to his face, breathing in. She grinned at Elsa's face. "Missed his best friend."

Elsa smiled at her and stroked the back of her son's head, hoisting him up higher. "Yes, it looks like it. Although hopefully he'll make other friends soon."

Anna nodded. "He will, I'm sure of it. Might take a little while than the other kids since he's new in the neighborhood. But I'm sure he'll fit in soon enough."

Elsa returned the teacher's polite smile, hoping that Anna's prediction was right.

"Well, let's go home baby," she said to Olaf.

Olaf didn't answer her and Elsa pushed back all the worries that crashed in her head, choosing instead to focus on the weight of him in her arms. She thanked Anna one last time, returning Anna's goodbye wave and turning to head back to her car.

"Goodbye! See you tomorrow Olaf! Have a good day you two!" Anna chirped, still waving as Elsa walked out the gate.

"Well, she seems nice," Elsa mumbled offhandedly to Olaf as she cradled him on the way to her car.

Olaf snuggled closer to her and played with the end of her braid with one hand and the antlers of his toy with the other.

Elsa smiled and rested her cheek on his head. "Did you like her? Was she nice? How was your first day of school?"

"Fine," Olaf murmured, and Elsa's face softened at the tell-tale signs of an afternoon doze.

"Want to take a nap when we get home?" she cooed.

"Yes please," Olaf squeaked, burying his face in Elsa's neck.

"Okay baby. Okay. Let's go home."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I apologize for the delay in this chapter, the holidays (both Christmas and New Years) had me extremely busy. On top of other IRL things and being hit with a nasty flu, it took me a while to make progress with this chapter. But thank you for your patience and support, here it finally is! Enjoy.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter 5: Voices Shaking My Steps Again<em>

* * *

><p>"...fold in the sleeves horizontally on the back, then fold the sides to the middle, then fold in half..."<p>

Her hands passed down along the fabric, securing buttons, smoothing out wrinkles, and tucking in cuffs. Her fingers traced along the stitching of stylized baby reindeers and snowmen on pressed t-shirts, then moved on to denim shorts and cotton hoodies. She hummed as she worked, delicately straightening the cuffs of each button-up.

The mantra and narration was calming, along with the monotonous duty of doing her laundry. The scent of fresh linen brought a tranquil atmosphere that she relished, murmuring under her breath in the quiet of her living room. A week had flown by, marked only by the memories of spreadsheets, piles of laundry, burnt breakfasts, bagged lunches, school gates, crying fits, and sleepless nights. Now, after several days where Elsa could only recollect the nervous racing of her heart, the stillness of her new home brought a sense of peace.

"...lay it flat, button it up, fold in the sleeves," she continued again, flattening the wrinkles in the small stripe-patterned t-shirt.

"And done!" Elsa piped, placing the shirt on top of the stack of clothes next to her on the couch. She straightened and stretched, groaning when she heard her back and shoulders pop into place. Placing her hands on her hips, Elsa surveyed the neat pile of clothes now and smiled. While burnt pancakes and quickly made lunches still weren't her thing, she was finding that doing laundry wasn't so bad.

"Olaf! Would you come down and help Mommy?" Elsa called, gathering a stack of clothes into her arms. Her son's clothes would be sorted first, then she'd come back for her own.

She heard a clattering noise and looked up as she stepped into the foyer, smiling when she saw Olaf standing at the third most highest step on the stairs. He leaned against the banister, holding one of the antlers of his reindeer in one hand while the other gripped one of the uprights. Olaf waddled down the stairs and Elsa noted the way his short legs seemed to swing too low at times, as if he still wasn't used to the height of the steps. Her smile wavered when she remembered that the height of the steps in their old home had been higher.

"Want to help Mommy put away your clothes?" she asked, shifting the bundles of fresh linen in her arms.

Olaf brightened and held up his arms and Elsa congratulated herself on her deduction. She was finding out that Olaf's moods tended to improve when she asked him to do something for her, as if the menial tasks assigned by his mother soothed him. Maybe they did, in some way.

Or maybe he just liked spending time with her.

She blinked and considered the thought. It brought the smile on her face up again.

"Here you go sweetie, you put away your socks and undies for me please?" she said as she handed him the small stack of white clothing.

Olaf grunted and nodded as he took the clothes from her and followed her up the stairs to his room.

Elsa padded down the short hallway upstairs that led to her and Olaf's bedrooms, with the house's single bathroom just beyond her bedroom on the right. The trek from the living room to Olaf's bedroom took less than a minute and as Elsa pushed open the door to her son's bedroom, she found herself making comparisons to their old home yet again.

Their new house was small.

It was two stories tall in comparison to their old house, which had been three stories. It was painted white with a black-shingle roof, whereas their old home had been a dull blue with a light gray roof and a white porch. Three stories, a master bedroom, a guest bedroom, Olaf's bedroom, the nursery, and two bathrooms, with a kitchen separate from the dining room and a cozy living room. And a quiet study and reading room with mahogany furniture and bookshelves. Her favorite place.

She had loved that house.

Elsa paused in the door frame of Olaf's bedroom, eyes roaming over the small space with its four sky blue walls and single white-curtained window.

Back home, Olaf's room had been bigger. It's walls had been painted in a transcending imagery of snowmen and winter wonderlands, with galloping reindeer and thick pine trees across the four walls. Elsa has spent several months painting that room.

She'd traded it for four bare sky blue walls.

"Mommy?"

Elsa snapped out of her trance and looked down when she felt a tug on her jeans, meeting Olaf's worried gaze. He was frowning at her, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he tilted his head and said, "Mommy are you okay? You were staring at nothing again."

"Oh, no, it's nothing sweetie. Mommy just got a little bit distracted," Elsa reassured, patting his head and walking to the large dresser to the right of Olaf's bed.

As she sorted the black and colored garments in their proper places, Elsa felt herself slipping back several years ago, the maple wood of the dresser replaced with oak in her mind's eye.

_"Oh Miss, the whites go in the left drawer and the colors in the right."_

_"Oh is that so? I'm so sorry, it's been so long since I sorted laundry."_

_"Haha Elsa! Did you never do your own laundry when you were in college?"_

_"Oh hush you, that was different. I've never sorted __**children's **__laundry alright?"_

_"It's not much different Elsa! You'll get used to it."_

_"If you say so..."_

_"You'll be fine. You'll make a great—"_

"Mommy?"

The sudden ringing of the house phone startled her.

"W-what?" Elsa stammered, blinking as her thoughts broke. She whipped her head from side to side, taking in her surroundings again as her brain tried to discern the source of the ringing and her mind tried to bring her back down to earth.

"Mommy it's the telephone!" Olaf squeaked, racing out of the room.

Elsa put down the clothes she still had left to sort on his bed and followed her son down the stairs, calling out, "Olaf be careful! Don't run down the stairs you'll fall!"

Olaf skirted down the last few steps and ducked into the kitchen, where the source of the ringing could be found hanging on the nearby wall, blaring its signal loudly at Elsa as she strode in.

Elsa huffed and grabbed her son's shoulders to still him as he jumped up in an attempt to reach the phone. "Easy, easy now, let Mommy get it." Giggling at the pout Olaf aimed at her, Elsa picked up the still ringing phone and pressed it against her ear. "Hello?"

"Elsa?" a familiar silky and chipper voice greeted her.

"Oh, hello Cindy," Elsa said, eyebrows raising, "Um, what's up? How are you?"

_Is that what you call a warm and casual greeting?_

She flushed and ignored the nagging voice as Cindy replied, "Oh I'm fine dear, thank you for asking. I was just calling to see if you would like to come over? My husband is out today with the boys and I've got the afternoon to myself. I was thinking we could have a chat over a cup of tea and some cake."

"Now? T-today?" Elsa glanced down at herself, eyeing the faded jeans and white turtleneck she was wearing. Olaf tilted his head at her as she frowned. "I look like a mess right now Cindy." She picked at her braid, where several strands had come loose. "I didn't do my hair and make-up."

Cindy laughed on the other line. "Oh Elsa you don't have to worry about that. The rest of the girls are busy so it'll just be you and I. You don't have to get all dolled up just to spend time with your girl friends do you? It's fine, come on over!"

Elsa nibbled her lip, then looked down again when she felt movement by her leg. Olaf stared up at her, lips parted as his eyes twinkled in curiosity at the conversation he was only half-hearing. Elsa's eyes widened with realization. "Who will look after Olaf?"

"Elsa!" Cindy gasped. "You bring him along of course!"

Elsa blinked and her lips formed an 'o'-shape as she gazed at Olaf. The logical part of her brain was reprimanding her for not considering the option, while the other part whirred, the one she had started to dub as her "single mother voice" nagged at her.

_Well, I can't exactly leave him alone, like Cindy said, so I don't know why I didn't think about taking him with me. Of course I should take him with me. I can't get a babysitter on such a short notice and there's no one I can call who lives nearby to watch over him. Why didn't I think about that?_

She was still finding out that a lot of things in her new life were much different from her old one.

Her mind flashed back then, her hand not holding the telephone but instead tugging on her heeled shoe, with the other adjusting her purse and jacket, her back to Olaf as she called out to Ivan that she'd be back later. Then she was out the door in a flash.

Elsa couldn't recall looking at Olaf's face back then.

"Elsa? Honey, are you there?"

Once again, Elsa was broken from her trance. _I need to stop spacing out today. _Patting Olaf's head, who tugged at her jeans and pouted with concern, Elsa hurriedly replied, "A-alright, it sounds like a nice idea. Okay Cindy, we'll be there in half an hour or so."

"Alright Elsa, I'll be waiting! I'll have the tea made and everything all ready by the time you get here! See you soon dear!"

Elsa smiled as she heard the line click and placed the phone back onto its holder, shoulders drooping with a sigh.

"Mommy are you okay?"

Olaf was still frowning.

"I'm fine dear, just a little tired," Elsa replied automatically. She was getting better at that. Biting the inside of her cheek, she mulled over her words before saying, "Olaf, do you remember Cindy? Ms. Charming? She's one of Mommy's friends. Do you want to come with me to visit her?"

Olaf tilted his head. "Umm..."

The pensive look on her son's face brought the whirlwind of thoughts back again and Elsa turned her gaze up to look at the wall behind him. Why was she hesitating on bringing Olaf along in the first place? She grew anxious whenever he was out of her sight now, so even the thought of leaving him alone or with strangers made her queasy.

_Because Cindy lives in our old neighborhood._

Her stomach dropped at the thought.

"Well..."

_I'm so high up in the clouds today._

Elsa looked back at Olaf.

"Okay," Olaf chirped and Elsa sighed in relief that his mood hadn't gone sour from the suggestion.

"Just under one condition Mommy!"

She stared.

"It's okay if I bring Prancer along right?" As usual, Olaf brought up the topic of his favorite fuzzy friend.

Elsa melted.

_He's so attached to that thing._

"Of course you can sweetie. Now c'mon, let's go and get ready. Wouldn't want to keep Cindy waiting, that would be improper."

* * *

><p>The drive to Cindy's house meant going through her old neighborhood, as she had thought so earlier. Elsa kept her gaze fixated on the road as she wound through the familiar streets, making sure not to look at old buildings and sights that would bring up soured memories. In the rearview mirror, she watched Olaf busy himself with his toy. Elsa's hands relaxed their death grip on the steering wheel when she saw that Olaf seemed content. She'd been worried that bringing him back to their old neighborhood wouldn't sit well with the boy, but he seemed to be doing okay.<p>

_For now._

Elsa fixed her attention back on the road and watched the street signs to note when they would change to Whitewood Ave. and SE Glass Blvd. Cindy lived on the upper side of town, in the same neighborhood that Elsa had lived in before she'd packed her and Olaf's bags and left. Thankfully, Cindy didn't live on the same block Elsa had lived on. She was glad for that.

Her eyes flicked to look at the rearview mirror and she blinked when she realized Olaf had lifted his gaze to watch her.

She smiled. "Excited to see Cindy again? Remember when she would come over to see me and she'd bring you sweets? You loved the sugar cookies she always brought for you, didn't you?"

The distant look in Olaf's eyes faded and Elsa relaxed when she saw his face light up.

"Will she let me have some cookies Mommy? With the white frosting and pink and blue sprinkles?" He bounced in his seat. "Can I have some Mommy? Can you ask her for me?" he squeaked.

Elsa laughed as she turned a right on the intersection when she saw the sign that read Whitewood Ave. She drove down the street of three-story houses, looking for the familiar white one on the left side of the street with a nice porch and a bird fountain on its grassy lawn. Elsa perked up when she saw it, turning the steering wheel to park the car nearby.

As she settled into the free space on the curb of the sidewalk, Elsa saw the door of house swing open, revealing a slim figure. She smiled when Cindy waved excitedly from the doorway, stepping out onto the porch to greet her friend.

"Elsa, hello!" she called, quickly striding off the porch and down the pathway.

Elsa turned off the ignition and unbuckled her seatbelt, quickly getting out to help her son in the backseat. Olaf squirmed when Elsa started undoing his seatbelts, trying to lift his head over his mother's shoulders as Cindy neared the car to meet them.

"Need help with anything?" Cindy asked.

"No it's okay, I only brought him today," Elsa replied, grinning when she finally undid the last buckle, then laughed when Olaf tried to hop out of his seat. She grabbed him just as he lunged past her and scooped him up, delighting in his surprised squeal.

"Where are you going mister?" she cooed, rubbing her nose against his.

Olaf grumbled and looked at her candidly.

Elsa softened and placed him down, recognizing that he wasn't up for being teased. Straightening, she adjusted her blouse and looked back at Cindy, suddenly shy in front of her friend.

_And why is that? Is it because we no longer live nearby?_

"It's nice to see you, how have you been?" Elsa asked, feeling her cheeks warm.

Cindy grinned and chuckled lightly. "It's okay Elsa, you don't need to be so formal. It hasn't been _that _long since we've seen each other. Why, I think it was just yesterday. At work."

At Cindy's smirk, Elsa felt her cheeks grow even warmer and she laughed nervously. "Very funny darling, I know your game."

"Good that you recognize I'm only teasing you, you need to loosen up Elsa."

Cindy's eyes twinkled and the butterflies in Elsa's stomach settled, her complexion returning to normal. Then her friend's blue eyes dipped down to her legs and Elsa glanced at her side, where Olaf had sidled close and was clinging to her pants.

Placing her hands on her knees, Cindy bent down and smiled gently at Olaf. "Hey there little duckling, remember me? I hope it hasn't been so long that you've forgotten me already. How have you been?"

"Hi Ms. Charming," Olaf mumbled, and Elsa giggled at the blush that colored her son's cheeks. "Please don't be sad, I remember you," he squeaked. Holding his toy closely and pressing his cheek against the brown fuzz, Olaf stared dazedly at the blonde woman.

Elsa exchanged glances with Cindy and the two of them shared knowing chuckles.

"He's so cute, oh gosh Elsa you got so lucky with him you know?" Cindy said as the three of them turned to walk down the path to her home.

"I know," Elsa mumbled, warmth blooming on her cheeks as Olaf clung to her leg, waddling alongside them toward the house.

Still, as Elsa listened to Cindy babble about her day so far, one thought pervaded her mind.

_But I didn't want children at first though. I still didn't want them even when I found out I was pregnant with him._

Unbidden, the stray thought brought several memories rushing to Elsa's mind.

"_It's okay Elsa. I'm sure you'll make a great mother."_

Ivan's words, distant and soft, had meant to soothe her when they'd found out about the pregnancy. She'd been twenty-seven then, older than the age that most of her friends had been when they had children. When Elsa had been working on her bachelor's, her friends had been getting ready to marry. When Elsa had been in her senior year, her friends had been decorating nursery rooms. When Elsa had accepted Ivan's proposal, her friends had already been crooning over small bundles of joy, swathed in soft blankets. And when Elsa had finally gotten pregnant, her friends' children had already learned how to speak, had already been squealing _"Mama, Mama!" _to them.

She'd been behind them in every step of motherhood.

Except for Cindy, who had remained childless.

_Maybe that's why she's the closest to being my best friend._

Elsa smiled and turned herself back to her friend's words, blushing when she realized she was just catching the tail end of Cindy's chatter.

"So how have you two been?" Cindy chirped as they strode into her house, heading in the direction of her living room. Elsa followed her into the spacious quarters, gesturing for Olaf to follow when he lingered in the foyer.

"We're settling in," Elsa said, seating herself on the plush couch next to her friend.

Olaf tried to scramble onto the space next to her, but Elsa pulled him into her lap, securing him in an embrace. He squirmed in her hold while Cindy poured steaming liquid from a fine porcelain teapot into a pair of white cups. She handed Elsa her cup and then held up a small saucer, quirking an eyebrow at her. "Sugar dear?"

"No thanks," Elsa said, waving her hand. When Olaf continued to wriggle in her arms, Elsa grabbed his stuffed reindeer and waved it in front of him. "What is it?" she asked, sensing a sullen mood incoming.

"Cookies," Olaf mumbled, looking away from his toy to trail his gaze on the plate of desserts that Cindy had laid out on the coffee table.

Elsa bit back her chuckle and turned a bashful eye toward Cindy, who giggled, "Oh did he want some sweets? Does he still like the sugar cookies I make?" she asked as she grabbed one of the plates piled with white-frosted sweets.

"Very," Elsa said as she grabbed a cookie while Olaf bounced in her lap, flailing for it. "Now, now, settle down."

"Can I have another one after? Please Mommy?" he asked as he bit into the dessert.

"Just one more after. I know they're really tasty—and they are very good Cindy, Olaf you should say thank you to her—but you shouldn't eat so many. Your stomach will hurt," Elsa warned gently as her son chewed.

Olaf dropped the cookie and gave Cindy and his mother a chastened glance, mumbling, "Okay Mommy. And thank you Ms. Charming."

Cindy's eyes twinkled as she giggled, "He's so well-behaved and polite Elsa. I bet he doesn't give you any trouble."

Elsa paused, then wrapped her arms tighter around her son. "No, no trouble. He's a good boy, well-behaved like you said. No trouble at all."

Briefly, she thought back to the sleepless nights she'd spent trying to comfort Olaf from his dreams.

"How is he doing in school? Is he getting along well with the other children?"

"Oh," Elsa gasped, broken from her trance. She nodded and stroked Olaf's hair, who had shifted from nibbling on his cookie to laying with his reindeer. She kissed the top of his head and contemplated Olaf's silence.

"Well," she started, hesitant, "he's getting along fine, I think." She chewed on her lip and stared down at the top of her son's head, then sighed. "Olaf doesn't like school."

Cindy's eyebrows rose as she lowered her tea cup. "No? Does he not like the teacher?"

At once, Elsa thought of those blue-green eyes.

"I... I don't think the teacher is the problem," she mumbled, cheeks flushing. "She's nice." Elsa paused, then continued, "She's friendly I mean. Well, she seems the friendly sort. Olaf had a minor panic on the first day and Ann- I mean, Ms. Anderson, his teacher, took us aside and helped calm him down. She seems really sweet, the open and friendly sort of person."

Cindy smiled and sipped her tea. "Well that's good. I imagine poor little Olaf must have been frightened on his first day, what with it being in a completely new neighborhood. She seems like a good person."

"Yes she does. Isn't that right Olaf?" Elsa asked, jiggling her son a bit to prompt him.

Olaf frowned and grumbled, "I guess."

Cindy quirked an eyebrow again and Elsa flushed darkly, hurrying to explain, "He seems a bit touchy around her. He's not so fond of strangers these days, doesn't take to them well even when they're polite."

Cindy nodded solemnly, grabbing a biscuit from one of the platters. "That's understandable, all things considered. What else is this Ms. Anderson like? Does she seem like a capable person?"

Elsa blinked. "Y-yes she seems quite capable. She's very enthusiastic about her job and she seems to like it very much, and likes children a lot, from what I've seen of her. Her class seems to like her a lot in return, they're always rushing to get inside in the morning and wave goodbye to her when they leave."

_What's going on?_

Cindy continued nodding, then Elsa blurted out, "I've met her before actually." At her friend's curious look, she continued, "I was out shopping for school supplies the weekend before school was just about to start. She was there documenting the prices, to make a supplies list for back-to-school she said, so that the kids would know what materials their parents would need to buy them."

"Oh! She sounds like a responsible person then. I don't know much about teaching, but she seems like a good one."

At the approving smile she got, Elsa surprised herself when her shoulders relaxed, not knowing she had tensed up. Olaf looked up at her curiously when she shifted him in her lap, tugging him closer. He offered his half-eaten cookie and Elsa smiled as she took it, nibbling on a corner.

"She's pretty."

"Huh?" Cindy looked up from the slices of angel food cake she'd been cutting.

Elsa's eyes widened and her face felt unbearably warm."Pre-pretty young I mean." She moved to amend, "She's young. For her age. For her job. She's younger than I thought a teacher would be."

"Oh?" Cindy placed a slice of cake on a plate and handed it to Elsa, who took it and handed it to Olaf, who squealed. "How old is she?"

"Oh, um, I-I'm not quite sure actually." She ducked her head down and ignored the little voice nagging in her head that she shouldn't be gossiping about Ms. Anderson. "I think she's in her twenties? Maybe?"

The nagging in her head then quipped that the name wasn't _Ms. Anderson _but _Anna_. The whisper sounded suspiciously like the teacher's perky voice in that moment.

"I guess that is young. Maybe. As I said, I don't know much about teachers, but some of the ones in the elementary school here are that young too. You seem to approve of her at least, which is what matters most," Cindy said, setting her tea cup down onto the coffee table. "It must be so anxious leaving Olaf with strangers all day, so it's good that he seems to be in capable hands."

Elsa blinked. "They're only children. I'm sure he's getting along with the class."

"Oh really? Has he made any friends yet?"

"I'm not sure," Elsa said slowly, watching Olaf as he brought of piece of cake up to his mouth. She realized now that he'd been quiet for most of the time they'd been here, and hadn't made much of an attempt to leave her embrace. Usually Olaf would have gotten fussy by now. She stroked the back of his head. "He...doesn't actually talk much about school.

A quiet atmosphere of a different sort, one that made Elsa edgy, settled over them. She chewed the inside of her cheek, then said, "Are they supposed to talk about school? Do kids do that?"

Cindy frowned, as if she found Elsa's question odd. "Well, I mean, Ariel says her daughter likes to talk about school. Just not with her."

"Melody is older though," Elsa pointed out.

"That's true, Olaf still just might be shy. Are you shy Olaf? Have you made any friends at school yet?" Cindy directed her attention to the boy, smiling gently.

Olaf eyed her and squirmed, his fork in his mouth. Then he shook his head and went back to his cake, but Elsa saw him hold his toy closer.

"He's very shy," she mumbled, shoulders dropping.

Cindy softened and scooched closer to Elsa, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Just need to give it time dear." She was a silent for a moment before adding, "You need to give _yourself _some time. Him and you."

Elsa sighed and placed her chin on Olaf's head, who'd gone back to playing with his toy.

"I know."

_I just wish everything would go back to normal soon._

* * *

><p>That night she realized the white of her ceiling still felt new and unfamiliar, now that she had time to slow down and think.<p>

The bed she lay in was smaller, its mattress more firm. Her sleeping position was different too, no longer on the right side of the bed and turned on her side to face the nightstand. Instead, she lay in the center of the bed now, on her back, looking right up at the white ceiling. Her old ceiling had been a deep, dark blue-gray. It had been Ivan's favorite color.

Elsa shifted and turned on her side, staring at her nightstand, where an old lamp and a bluebird figurine sat.

_"How are you doing now without him Elsa? Are you getting along fine?"_

Her eyes shut tight.

_No, it's lonely._

Her mind came screeching to a halt. Elsa shoved down the duvet and sat up, moving to flick on the lamplight. Sitting back, she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, a breathy sigh leaving her.

"What am I doing? I can't think like that. I'm not supposed to think like that," she rasped, hands still over her eyes. Beneath her sudden shallow breathing, she could hear the drumbeat of her heart picking up.

"Don't doubt yourself right now Elsa. You're supposed to be thinking about Olaf. _Only _Olaf. Not yourself."

She dropped her hands to her lap and stared at the wall, a weariness overcoming her.

"Cindy said I just needed to give things some time. Olaf will come out of his shell sooner or later, I just need to be patient with him. With all the moving and everything, I'm sure it's just stress making these moods of his linger. A couple more months living here and he'll have settled in right? Right."

More assured of herself, she reached over to flick the light off and flopped back onto the mattress, tugging her duvet back up, intent on finally shutting off her brain to sleep.

"Okay, now right now you just need to close your eyes and go to sleep. It's Sunday tomorrow. I need to finish looking at those statements and making sure everything's accounted for," she said with a sigh, mentally checking off what had been done and what still needed to be done. Her boss had asked for a report on Monday after all.

Elsa buried her face into the pillow and pulled the comforter tight around her shoulders, closing her eyes.

_Now, to sleep._

The white walls of her bedroom, turned gray in the dark, blurred away into sleep.

She was only asleep for a little over an hour when she heard the noise.

Stirred from the foggy visions of dark eyes and a dulcet voice repeatedly calling her name, Elsa tried to make out what had awoken her as she rose up in bed.

She glanced around the room, brow creasing.

"_Mamaaa…_"

She knew that noise.

Elsa perked up.

"Olaf?"

Someone was crying.

Elsa pushed off the covers and swung her legs over the bed, rising up and swiftly grabbing the robe hanging from her open closet door. Tugging it around her shoulders and slipping her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers, she pushed open her bedroom door and poked her head out into the hallway.

"Olaf?"

Elsa's pulse thundered in her ears as she listened for the noise again, staring down the short hallway to her son's bedroom door, a mere few feet away.

She almost jumped out of her skin when it creaked open.

Olaf's brown eyes met her blue gaze and even in the dark Elsa could see that they were puffy and red-rimmed.

"Olaf, sweetie?" she called out tentatively, moving past her door frame to trek across the hallway in three long strides.

Olaf sniffed and swayed back and forth where he stood in the doorway of his room and Elsa reached out her arms to him.

He held out his arms and allowed Elsa to scoop him up. He tucked his head against the crook of her neck while she wrapped an arm beneath his bottom and legs, the other one looping around his back. She cradled him and cooed in his ear, nudging his door open so that she could slip inside.

Elsa listened to the soft breathing by her ear as she walked to the bed, her stomach twisting at the occasional sniffle. She chewed her lip and sat on the edge of the bed. "A nightmare, baby?"

Olaf didn't answer right away.

_He never does._

Elsa stared hard at the light blue paint of his wall while she waited, thinking about the prancing reindeer and dancing snowmen in his old room.

"Yeah," Olaf finally wibbled.

Elsa held back her sigh this time and nuzzled his cheek.

"Do you want to come to my room and sleep with me again? Or do you want me to sleep here with you?" she asked.

Olaf grumbled, hiccuped, and hid his face in her neck. "Can you sleep with me here Mommy? I don't wanna go out into the hallway. It's dark."

"Okay. Okay baby, we'll sleep right here." Elsa pulled back the covers and shifted Olaf in her arms. Keeping a secure hold on him, she shuffled to the middle of the bed and laid down onto the mattress. Olaf's bed was smaller than hers. Elsa's feet hit the wooden foot of the frame at the bottom. Her knees had to bend up slightly so that her feet didn't hang over the edge. It was uncomfortable.

She breathed in, slow and deep. Olaf moved and buried his face in her chest, arms wrapping tightly around her torso. Elsa's lips twitched. He couldn't wrap his arms all the way around her. She squeezed him in return, kissing the top of his head.

He sniffed and mumbled, "Could you sing me to sleep Mommy? Please?"

Elsa smiled. How could she deny him?

"Of course sweetie."

Tucking the comforter in all around them, she laid her head down on the pillow and began to murmur.

"Hush little baby don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns brass…"

With his ear pressed right over the spot of his mother's heart, and her arms around his shoulders, Elsa felt more than saw her son begin to drift off. The small sniffles that occasionally arose dwindled, replaced with soft breathing as his weight loosened in her embrace. Elsa continued to coo and sing into his ear, feeling her eyes water at the corners.

She sang until she knew Olaf was asleep, heavy and still in her arms. And afterward, Elsa stared up at the ceiling, unmoving, even when the dimness of the night outside the window broke into the light of dawn.

"_...and if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass…_"


End file.
